


Home Again

by Ohsoverysensible



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Domestic, Drama, Fluff, Gen, Humour, M/M, Post-Dragon Age Inquisition, Romance, Smut, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-03-03 14:06:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2853518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ohsoverysensible/pseuds/Ohsoverysensible
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After everything he'd been through, and after all the toils and troubles...With the Inquisition still going strong, but the world changed, Alexander Trevelyan deserved and needed to see his family. But he didn't want to go alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Pleading Letter

Alexander lay in his bed, the fire cracking in the distance, and the quiet sounds of a cold night seeping in through the shut windows. Shirtless, warm, and a little bit exhausted, Alex lay with his arm out. And, laying there on his bicep, was Dorian Pavus. Almost as usual.

If they'd spent a fair amount of time together before, now that the Inquisition's original goal was over, they were inseparable.

It was love. And if anyone said differently, or scoffed behind their back, there was an army of people ready to attack. Everyone accepted them by now. It had been secret to some degree before, looked at as a private affair that was nobody's business, but both Alex and Dorian never did like lies. With all the drama at an end, why let more linger? And so they held hands in the halls. They gave each other little pecks on the cheek when they felt like it, and they referred to each other as their partner. Because who cared? They never flaunted it, and they never overdid their public displays, but everyone knew they were together.

And everyone knew, no matter how unsure they were about other aspects, that Alex and Dorian cared for each other deeply.

Dorian wasn't exactly one for public displays of affection all the same. In fact, he was more inclined to secretly touch or grab Alex just to throw the other man off. Alexander was the sweetheart, with a romantic disposition that led him to cast longing stares across tables or give off little happy chuckles anytime Dorian was particularly adorable. Dorian liked to tease, and Alexander was getting better at throwing it back at him, if only to hear Dorian's great booming laugh.

There was a fair age gap, at least if you asked Dorian, but it never seemed to matter much. The only times it did were when Dorian treated Alex like his own, keeping him away from this or that or catching him if he stumbled. Alex was cursed with clumsiness, and perhaps a little bit of naivety, and Dorian was very much an awkward caregiver at times.

But then Alexander won in strength and strategy. As a warrior he was adept at command, and even though Dorian was the dominant one, when Alex worked he _worked_. He exuded power, regardless of his weaker tendencies, and there were many instances where Alexander used his strength against Dorian's sarcasm. He would lift Dorian up or throw him over his shoulder at times. He would overpower the mage quite easily when it came to physical strength, and the world became a dangerous place for Dorian when Alex discovered how ticklish he was.

Together they made a very interesting combination. But when alone, they were absolutely blissful in each other's arms.

And so they lay there in bed, Alexander's quarters steadily becoming  _their_  quarters, listening to the fire and breathing slow. With a little clear of his throat, Alexander spoke cautiously. "I received a letter from my family yesterday," he said, trying for nonchalance and failing.

"Did you indeed," Dorian said. His eyes were shut, and he looked remarkably peaceful, but his voice was alert if not indifferent.

Alex craned his neck to stare at the other man, blinking a few times before swallowing and pressing on. "They're going to our smaller estate for some of the winter. Like we used to do when I was young. I may join them, if I can."

Dorian smirked in his sleep-like state. "And could the Inquisition spare you for a time?"

Alex shrugged, making Dorian's head bounce slightly. "I suppose if I'm greatly needed they know where to find me. After saving the world, I deserve a break."

Dorian laughed lightly and snuggled himself a little closer. He draped one tanned arm across Alexander's chest and gave a contented sigh. "It would be nice to see your family again I imagine," he said casually.

Alexander agreed. "It would be. It's been some time. And...I think my mother would like to see me. After what happened with Tristan."

Dorian opened his eyes and tilted his head up to catch Alexander's gaze, but he wasn't looking. It always bothered Dorian when Alex talked of his elder brother so simply. He knew that, behind his casual mentioning or his easy memories, Alex was devastated at the loss. His whole family must have been. The eldest son gone to the Templars, and then gone in a blast, while the second son remained.

Becoming a hero had to mean something, Dorian imagined.

"You've other siblings, am I right?" Dorian asked.

Alex smirked. "Oh yes," he said. "I've other siblings."

"You've never told me how aggravated your Noble family was when your brother chose the Templars and you didn't," Dorian said.

Alex pursed his lips. "They didn't care as much as you would think. My father was actually quite proud. It was only when he realized I would be a disappointing Bann that he was upset. He hoped to get me to the Templars as well but...you can see how that worked out."

Dorian smirked. "Well, he made you go to the Conclave. I suppose he succeeded in trying to force you into greatness."

"At a cost," Alex said a little darkly.

Dorian sighed. "There's always a catch...So you'll be going to them soon I suppose? As the big hero," he said after a small pause.

Alex turned finally and looked down at Dorian, who stared at him with a mixture of amusement and pity. "I..." Alex paused. "I would like you to come with me."

Dorian's eyebrows rose, and he looked surprisingly taken aback by the request. For an uncomfortable moment of time, he just stared at Alex in silence. "You want to bring me," he said in shock.

"Yes."

"To meet your family?"

"I do."

Dorian frowned. "And how would that sit with Bann-Father-Dearest?"

Alexander laughed softly and hugged Dorian a little closer. "He would be the only one you need to worry about. Everyone else is...Everyone else knows."

"About us?"

"About  _me_ ," Alexander clarified. "No one cares but Father, and he may care more now that Tristan...But...I've a younger brother. He can take the family line on."

Dorian narrowed his eyes and sat up a little ways. "Just how many siblings do you have to spare?"

Alex smirked. "I'm not sure you want to know the number. It may sway your answer."

Dorian continued to frown, but the idea of meeting Alexander's family was oddly alluring to him. He'd never been this attached to someone. He'd never felt this way about anyone he'd come across. This was far more than a little obsession or a randy love affair. This was the real thing, something it had taken Dorian a very long time to find. He'd romanticized the idea of a big family for a while now, though he would never admit it, and the idea of acceptance...great family dinners and long nights spent talking...

"What would they say about me?" Dorian asked gently, sitting up and scooting to the end of the bed. He looked across at the darkness outside. "How would you introduce me I wonder?"

Alex smiled at the back of Dorian's head as he propped himself up on his elbows. "I'd tell the truth."

"Sounds dangerous," Dorian scoffed.

"No more dangerous than what we've handled thus far," Alexander said. Dorian could hear him sit up straighter, and soon he was sitting behind him, wrapping his arms around Dorian and leaning his chin on his shoulder. "Everyone will love you."

"Hah!" Dorian scoffed. "I'm sure they will love the company of an apostate Tevinter mage sitting at their table, drinking their wine and fucking their son."

Alexander laughed hard at Dorian's blunt attitude. He loved the way Dorian told it as it was, but sometimes it amused him greatly to hear him just spit it out. " First off, we have Tevinter ties, Dorian. _You_  are the one who told me that. No one will be against that."

"But they may be against...this," Dorian said, turning slightly and gesturing wildly between himself and Alexander. "You cannot expect me to believe your entire noble family, in the Free Marches, are satisfied with your style of life."

Alex shrugged again. "As I said before, they mostly don't care. The only time they do is with public image, which I know you...well, you're unfortunately used to that."

Dorian gave a little unsatisfied bark of laughter. "I hope your family is a little more sane about it than mine."

"They are," Alex said casually. "For the most part. Otherwise they'll have to deal with it. Because if it becomes a problem, I'll be gone before they can suggest  _you_ leave."

Dorian grinned his sideways grin. "Such a little rebel."

Alexander pulled himself forward a bit more so that he could get his pale eyes on Dorian's. "Say you'll come with me," he said. "The letter was kind enough, and my sister threw a message of her own inside. She's practically begging me to arrive."

Dorian tilted his head. "She isn't begging _me_."

Alexander frowned, but slowly this little wicked thought perked him back up. "Do you want to spend nearly two weeks without me?" he mused, trying to stifle his smile as Dorian gave him a glare.

"Are you bribing me with your body?" Dorian sassed.

Alex leapt up and moved towards his desk. "I'm bribing you with my overall company. And a little bit of de-stressing from all we've done. It's not an invitation I extend lightly," he said, pulling his trousers on and cutting off Dorian's stare. He turned to meet Dorian's prying eyes. "I want to go," he said seriously. "If Josephine will let me, I will. But I want you to join me." Dorian adored the fact that Alexander blushed at the drop of a hat. "I want you to meet my family."

Dorian took a deep breath and gave a great sigh, running a hand through his hair as he sat on the edge of Alex's bed. He leaned on his knees and looked up at the hopeful face of his beau. "If I cause any drama, say the word and I'll be gone," he said.

Alexander's gigantic grin was his reply, and Dorian could swear he almost skipped back to the bed. "With you, Dorian," he said, kissing the older man's cheek, "there will always be drama."

Dorian smirked. "How do you know? I may shut down in the presence of such power."

"You don't shut down around me," Alexander said with a wink, but Dorian just rolled his eyes. He really was a bad influence on the poor lad.

With a defeated sigh, Dorian leaned a little closer and spoke in a sad whisper. "I'm not used to large families," he admitted. "I may be wonderful, but..."

Alex knelt down and shuffled forward between Dorian's legs. "But?"

"But...I could disappoint," Dorian finished. It wouldn't be the first time he disappointed a family, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last. "I'm not exactly the ideal person to show off to a family."

Alex frowned, but he reached out with gentle fingers to tip Dorian's chin up. With a great amount of care, and a fair amount of passion, Alexander placed a kiss to Dorian's lips that had the older man completely frazzled. The stupid boy had a talent for leaving him breathless, speechless, dizzy with desire and love. He hated what a weak little sap Alexander turned him into. But he also adored it.

"You won't  _ever_ disappoint, Dorian," Alexander whispered after he severed the kiss. "And besides. You love to stir things up. If anything this will be a chance for scandal. And you love scandal."

Dorian laughed and Alex followed suit, and for a moment they stared at each other chuckling like fools. "You are _glorious_ ," Dorian said at last, and he reached forward and grabbed Alex tight before falling back on the bed, Alex's laughter creating a bright light in Dorian's heart.


	2. Meet and Greet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little did Dorian know just how many Treleyans there were to remember.

"We're going  _towards_ the cold weather?" Dorian snapped as he stood on the deck of the ship. The coast of the small port in the Free Marches was beginning to come into view, and Dorian was just discovering that their journey was almost at an end. "I thought you said this was the estate your family went to  _for_ the winter."

"I did," laughed Alexander as he stood beside the older man. He had his hands braced on the side of the large barge, taking in the sea air and rolling easily with the waves. Dorian, however, was a little more uneasy. Regardless of the fact that he grew up in a coastal land, and the fact that he'd been on many a boat, he didn't like them. He didn't like water, he didn't like sea travel, he just...didn't.

"Most people travel somewhere warm when the place they live gets cold," Dorian said, turning to look out at the rolling sea as if that would help his distress.

Alex was smiling easily. "The Trevelyans thrive in cold climates."

"The Free Marches isn't what I would call a harsh terrain," Dorian said. "From what  _I_ know of it, it's usually rather temperate."

"It is," Alex said. "Usually. But our winter estate is closer to the Planasene Forest. It gets a little colder there, even if it is on the coast. And our estate sits right on a small lake that freezes with the--You're angry at me."

Dorian was glaring, but the moment Alexander noticed he turned his head and held it high. "I'm not angry," he said, angrily. "A little disappointed we won't be going somewhere with sunlight, but not angry."

Alex laughed and slid closer to Dorian's side. "I'll make sure to keep your old bones warm."

"I'm not quite susceptible to drafts yet, thank you," Dorian defended. "But I _am_ susceptible to mockery and back talk."

"If you can't take it, don't serve it," Alexander said with a casual shrug. Dorian looked at him as he watched the waves, sizing him up and down with a little smirk. When they'd first met--Maker, it felt like years ago--Dorian saw Alex as a wide-eyed do-gooder with barely any confidence and little to no experience. He learned very fast that Alexander was incredibly confident; and determined and head strong and iron willed and stubborn. But as they became friends, then eventually lovers, Dorian learned more and more about that sweet-faced noble that he'd never expected.

And one of his favourite discoveries was Alexander's quick wit. It didn't quite match his own, but Dorian found a willing challenger in Alex that he hadn't really found in anyone else. At least not anyone he'd made love to. At first Dorian had thrown Alex off a little bit, catching him off guard and playing with his gullible attitude. But quite quickly Alexander grew to understand Dorian's verbal battles, and he succeeded greatly with his expert flirtations.

"So," Alex said, turning with a smile and running his hand through his deep red hair. "Are you going to be a grump the entire time? Or will you eventually get back to normal."

"Hmm," Dorian grumbled. "Perhaps I'll like your family more than I like you."

"Ah," Alex said gently, leaning a little closer as people passed them blankly on the deck. "But you _love_ me," he said.

Dorian sighed but he was smiling softly. "Yes," he said, putting a hand to Alexander's cheek. He stroked his smoothly shaved skin for a moment before pinching it. "Maker only knows  _why_   _I do._ "

Alex swatted his hand away. "I could ask Him the same thing then," he said with a smirk. 

My, they did smile at each other a lot. It started out as the only way they could get their flirty point across, or the only way Alexander could respond to Dorian's sensual stares. Then it grew into bashful glances and gentle grins to soothe the stress or the emotion. Now it was just a regular occurrence. Dorian actually felt that they smiled at each other all the time, even through the bad moments. It just...happened. The happiness they shared hit their lips so regularly that they may as well always be beaming at the other.

Dorian groaned in mock pain. "The worst part is I know very much why I love you," he said. "You're a little too much like me."

"And no one loves you more than you," Alexander said, leaning on his elbows as the sea spray dampened his hair.

"Keep that in mind, darling," Dorian said, matching Alex's stance. "You have high standards to meet."

Alex slid a fraction closer. "I think I'm doing a fair job so far."

Dorian smiled at him. "In all honesty I think you're a better version of me. You make me think of the bright-eyed version that I  _wanted_ to be."

"Don't put me on a pedestal," Alex said softly. "I have as many flaws as other people."

"I've yet to find them."

"Stop it," Alex said, but Dorian had already won his blush. Dorian had started going after Alex by being silly and comical, cracking jokes and making Alex laugh. That worked for a while, and then Dorian got sexual. It was almost an overnight change, and suddenly Alex had to loosen his collar or excuse himself from company for a moment.

But the moment they decided to be together, truly together, Dorian showed off how painfully romantic he could be. And it was again very sudden. He could be cracking a joke one moment, suggesting dirty acts another, and then professing his love the next.

As Dorian stared lovingly at Alex, a little crease began to form between Alexander's brows that put the moment aside. "I worry you'll find those flaws some day and be startled."

Dorian chuckled. "If you haven't run from  _me_ yet, I think it's safe to say you're stuck with me." But Alexander still looked concerned, and a after a moment he looked away slightly as if new thoughts were starting to cloud his mind. "What is it?" Dorian asked, recognizing that disturbed look on Alexander's youthful face.

Alex sighed before looking back at Dorian. "I suppose neither of us want to disappoint the other."

Dorian cocked his head to the side and slid his arm through Alex's. They stared out at the sea together, watching the waves and watching as the shore came closer. "I think," Dorian began slowly, "that no matter what happens around us, we won't be unhappy with each other."

"But you've been upset with me before," Alex said. "We aren't perfect. _No one_ is perfect."

"I was upset with you because I was upset with myself. That's usually how it happens with me. And besides, am I saying we're perfect?" Dorian asked. "I know  _I_ am, and I'm fairly sure you're close but--" Alex nudged Dorian and he chuckled, his little joke fizzling out. "In all seriousness then, are you having second thoughts?"

Alex's head snapped up and he stared at Dorian in shock. "Second thoughts on what? On you?"

"On bringing me," Dorian clarified.

"Of course not!"

"Well something is bothering you," Dorian said. "And I'll take a lesson from your book and constantly nag you until you tell me. Or, I'll go off and try and solve the problem myself."

Alexander frowned at Dorian but he was right. Alex was quite ready and keen to spoil and help Dorian. He liked getting him gifts and he liked being the shoulder he cried on. But he also liked being his hero. It's how they first really hit it off, though Alex would never say so and Dorian would never agree. Alexander sighed and drooped his head. "My family can just be a little...overwhelming. I'm starting to think about it more and more as we get closer. Perhaps it will be too much too soon. When you tell me I'm...glorious or all your other little compliments I get worried that...someday I won't be. And my family is _part_ of me. If you hate them--"

"I don't hate _you_ , so why would I hate your family?" Dorian interrupted. "You've painted a nice picture of them for me so far. Let me be the judge. You don't worry your pretty little head about it anymore," he said, reaching up and brushing his ringed fingers through Alexander's damp hair. "My sweet boy," Dorian cooed when Alex finally graced him with a glance.

Alex smiled a little weakly at first, but soon the dread lifted off his brow, and he leaned up quickly to give Dorian a gentle little kiss. The Captain called for all hands to make ready, and Alexander hoped and prayed that Dorian was ready for the next steps of this trip. 

***

His mother had sent a carriage, which didn't shock Alex at all, but surprised Dorian. He'd expected a small litter at least, and maybe horses for them to ride, but nothing so grand. "Mother loves performance," Alexander had explained as they'd packed up and climbed inside. "It's not far, but she likes to make onlookers know someone is important."

"Your mother and I will get along splendidly then," Dorian had replied, looking very natural in this refined state. Alexander expected Dorian to be a noble natural, no matter how long he'd spent away from his own lavish life style. But then again, Dorian was always lavish, even on the run. Even in _hiding_ he'd managed to be an elegant, refined, well-dressed charmer. If he was going to get along with anyone, it really would be with Alexander's Orlesian raised (but Free Marcher born) mother.

As the carriage shook along the road, Dorian continued to watch Alexander peering out the little window at the sight of his home. He imagined Alex looked much like Dorian would if he returned to Tevinter.  _When_ he returned. It wasn't something they spoke of much, but Dorian felt it would occur at some point. Some day. Maybe.

Alex caught Dorian's prying eyes and smiled. "It won't take long to get there," Alexander told him. "We were lucky we were coming from just across the sea, and not from all the way around."

"Should I be warned about anything in particular?" Dorian asked. "I feel like I'm being thrown to the wolves."

"I suppose I should give you a little base information, so that you're not drowning in names and personalities," Alex chuckled.

Dorian shrugged. "I can hold my own. Etiquette runs in my family."

"Does it?" Alexander asked skeptically.

"Well it runs in me," Dorian decided, and he gave Alex a playful wink. "Alright now. Start with your parents."

"Howard and Tessa," Alexander stated. "Or I suppose Lord and Lady to you."

"Or Ser," Dorian said. "You forget I'm noble too."

Alexander laughed. "How could I ever forget it? And anyway, if you call them Lord and Lady it will win you favour. Also if you give thanks before you eat."

"Ah yes," Dorian said with a smirk. "Your family is very close to the Chantry."

"Don't let that worry you," Alexander said. "It's not as concerning as it sounds."

Dorian smiled. "Alright. Now your siblings," he said cautiously, earning a chuckle from Alex. "From what you suggested you have thousands."

Alexander laughed. "Not thousands. Seven. Well...six." He frowned momentarily and Dorian pursed his lips. 

"List them for me then," Dorian said, leaning forward on his knees in the carriage. "Oldest to youngest."

Alex perked back up slightly and started to list them on his fingers. "Tristan, Ariana, myself, Layla, Margaret and Seth, and Annabelle."

Dorian's eyes widened. "Well. Your mother must have started very young."

"She did I suppose," Alex shrugged. "Mother is a fair amount younger than Father. She spent much of her life with child."

Dorian nodded, and in the little silence he was trying to keep track. He feared, for all his high-bred intelligence, that he would never put a face to the name. "Perhaps you should give me some clarifications here on whose who."

Alexander laughed. "Seeing their faces will help. I don't think telling you about them will make it any easier."

"Oh it may," Dorian said, leaning back and crossing one leg over the other. "I sadly need no introduction to your elder brother," he started. "But the next one? I thought  _you_ were the second eldest."

"No," Alex said, leaning back as well. "Ariana was next, and quite quickly. She's the shyest of the family I would say. She was married, but her husband recently passed. Family illness he couldn't really escape. She has a little boy from him however who will inherit a fine title. She may bring him with her."

"And his name?" Dorian asked, astounded that there were more names to learn.

"Dillan," Alex said. "He's only two."

Dorian sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head back and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Alright. Next in line?"

"Me," Alexander joked.

Dorian scoffed. " _After_ you. I  _know_ you."

Still smiling, Alex went on. "Layla. We were very close when we were young, and we still are I believe. She's the one who added a pleading message to my Father's letter. But she's very unlike me. She wanted to be a fighter like Tristan and I, and she was skilled with a bow, but she wasn't allowed to continue. And she's a bit rebellious. She would never mean to hurt anyone, and she isn't a prankster, but she's head-stong and outspoken. She knows more about me than anyone."

"Even me?" Dorian asked, opening his eyes and casting Alex a wry look.

"Even you," Alex said. "Layla is the one I went to when I was feeling...confused. About myself and about the way I felt. She'll probably be your toughest competition. If she doesn't like you, be afraid."

Dorian laughed. "I'll win her over, I swear it. Next?"

"Margaret and Seth are twins," Alex went on without hesitance. "They're young compared to the age of Ariana, Layla and myself. They were a surprise after a rather long lull. Margaret is a demon of a child, but Seth is well tempered and intelligent. He's thankfully eager to take over Father's title."

"Well that's lucky," Dorian said.

Alex smiled. "And then there is Annabelle. She's the last bundle of joy, and I was her favourite. She may have chosen a new person to shadow by now, but I'll be glad to see her."

Dorian shook his head. "Your poor, poor mother."

Alex laughed. "No, the poor, poor Nan's and Nurses forced to watch us. There's a good gap between Layla and the twins, and Annabelle was a miracle. I think my parents are done."

"Maker I hope so!" Dorian exclaimed, and Alexander laughed loud and strong. This would be quite the experience. "What are the age ranges here? They seem outrageous."

"Tristan would be twenty-eight this year. Ariana just turned twenty-seven, and I'm twenty-four. Layla is twenty-two, and Margaret and Seth are nine. Annabelle is six," Alexander listed off, as if it were common knowledge.

Dorian's eyes were wide. "I still feel sorry for your mother, but she must have tremendous good health."

"She's a strong woman," Alexander said, "but she was quickly sucked into the lavish world of nobility. She came from a good line but not as high as the Trevelyans. Now she's a little bit...extravagant. She's accepting of many things because she loves her children greatly, but she spent a lot of time trying to match me up. When I was against the Chantry, at least in joining it, it became her mission to marry me off. She succeeded easily with Ariana, who always just took whatever mother gave her, and then she went to me. She's probably been working at Layla while I've been gone."

"Sounds like a noble family to me," Dorian said.

***

Alexander was gently shaking his shoulder, and Dorian woke up with a sharp inhale. Eyes wide, he stared at Alex as he towered over him in the carriage. "We're here," Alex said softly. "Are you alert?"

"I'm fine," Dorian said, sitting up a little straighter and adjusting his clothing and hair.

"You look wonderful," Alex said, reaching up and putting a stop to Dorian's fussing fingers.

Dorian smiled tightly. "Then here we go."

Alex grinned and leapt out first, but Dorian could see the grand estate even through the small carriage door. It masqueraded as an old fort, done up with banners and intricate flags to look a little more elegant. It was a large stone building with a small courtyard in the centre, and the cooler weather had left skiffs of snow all about the brick. The big wooden doors were open and waiting, with the sight of plush furniture and warm light just visible inside. And out in the yard, in a perfect little line up, stood Alexander's remarkable family.

Alexander jumped out and watched his mother instantly rush forward. Her greying hair was hidden under a little hat, at least for the most part, but she appeared to have dark red tresses. She held her arms out to her son and immediately started sniffling. "My boy," she said over and over, holding Alex close and forcing him to bend for her. "My dear, dear boy is home at _last_." She held him so tight and so sincerely that a few other eyes in the line up started to water just a bit.

Alexander's father came forward and clapped his hand on his son's back. "My brave lad, Hero of Thedas!" he almost cheered, and Dorian didn't have to see Alexander's cheeks to sense his blush. 

"Hello, Father," Alexander said softly, and the older man grabbed his son into a tight embrace. Howard's hair was a pale honey-brown, swept back from his crinkled forehead and wide jaw, a jawline Dorian knew well. Even from his distance, he could also see Bann Howard's bright blue eyes, only they seemed colder than Alex's somehow.

Dorian stepped out of the carriage at last, head high but feeling aggravatingly unsure of himself. All eyes turned to him the moment his foot hit the ground, and Alexander turned to bring Dorian forward. "Mother, Father...and family," he added, earning the young one's giggles. "May I present Lord Dorian Pavus of Tevinter, a _very_ distant relative and a dear friend. A champion in his own right."

"You needn't listen to his boasting," Dorian said, coming closer bravely. "He simply dislikes all the attention being on himself."

"Isn't that the truth!" someone called from the line up in the back. By the wicked little smirk on her face, Dorian guessed who the speaker was. And guessed that it was Layla Trevelyan.

Alexander's mother Tessa reached out a hand to Dorian in greeting. "We're honoured to have you as our guest, Lord Pavus."

Dorian took Tessa's hand softly. "I would be honoured if you were to call me Dorian," he said, and with his melting charm he gave her hand a gentle kiss.

"I've met your father a few times," Howard Trevelyan said, holding his hand out to Dorian as well. He shook Dorian's hand with an incredible amount of strength, but Dorian managed to meet the power. "He seems a decent man."

"He does seem so, does he not," Dorian said, and Alexander stepped between.

"Allow me to introduce this entourage here," Alex joked, gesturing to the line up of people who stood patiently behind. Alexander gave the first young woman a great hug. "This is my sister Ariana," he said.

"A pleasure," Dorian said simply.

Ariana gave a little curtsy, her long braid slipping over her shoulder. Her eyes were a pale brown, along with her hair, and she did seem somewhat mousey even with her incredibly elegant features. "It's a privilege to meet someone from the Imperium. I've heard much about your ways but have seen little."

"I'm afraid you may be disappointed," Dorian said. "I'm quite a bad example."

Ariana smiled nervously and Alexander ushered Dorian down the line. "And this is--oof!" Alex couldn't get the introduction out as the slim woman before him threw herself into his arms. Dorian didn't really need an introduction after that. Layla had surprisingly fair hair, a golden brown, and she wore it loose. Her body was slim but she seemed agile, and she hugged Alex about the neck with a great strength.

Once she finally released him, Alex brushed his hair back from his forehead. "This is Layla," he laughed.

Dorian was about to hold his hand out, but instead Layla gave him a hug as well. She didn't squeeze him to death as she had her brother, but it was a welcoming gesture that Dorian was rather shocked by. "I'm glad he has you," Layla whispered quickly before letting Dorian go, and when she pulled back she smiled. But Dorian was just wide-eyed.

"Margaret and Seth, the little monsters here," Alex joked, gesturing them forward. Seth came willingly, and with an elegance that surprised Dorian in someone so young. His hair bordered on orange instead of red, and his face was a mass of freckles, even more than Alex. He had the blue eyes of his father, and the strong brow. Margaret, unlike her brother, was all darkness. Her hair was curly and fiery red, and her eyes were a dark brown. She slumped over and seemed to pout beside her twin, and she seemed to only share his overwhelming freckles.

Alexander laughed. "Dorian, meet the ankle-biters."

Dorian laughed. "He's not very kind to you is he?" he mused.

Margaret continued to seem pouty, or perhaps shy, but Seth gave a brilliantly social laugh. "Yes, Alex always likes to tease us."

Dorian smirked. "He's very bad at teasing, I can promise you." Seth laughed, and Dorian thought he saw a slight light hit Margaret's quiet eyes.

Alexander looked this way and that in the courtyard, finally catching his mother and father's glances. "Where is Annabelle? And Dillon?" he asked, turning to Ariana.

"Dillon is taking a rest," Ariana said simply.

"And...Annabelle?" asked Alex, looking to his mother.

Tessa frowned. "She was skeptical of coming out." Suddenly, Alexander's father tapped Tessa's shoulder and pointed to the big doors. Everyone turned, and there, standing in the doorway half hidden by the large wooden frame, stood a tiny little girl who peered at the group outside.

Alex chuckled and moved around everyone to come a little closer to her. Dorian watched as Alex kneeled down sweetly, and held his arms out to the tiny child. "Annabelle, love, why are you hiding from me?" 

She scooted back a bit and looked very unhappy.

At last, Alexander sighed. "Ooh, I see," he said. "I didn't mean to leave you for so long. I'm sorry I didn't take you with me."

With an angry little whimper, Annabelle stepped out of the doors and stomped over to where Alex knelt. Everyone cooed and chuckled softly as she did so, and she opened her arms and let Alex fold her into his own. Even Dorian had to smile at the sight.

"Oh I know, you can be mad at me for a while if you'd like," Alex was saying as he walked back over to his family with the little girl on his hip. "But I brought a friend here who would like to say hello."

Dorian wasn't good with children. At least not with young children, and especially if they were distraught. However, the moment Alex came close enough, Annabelle lifted her head and looked at Dorian with big blue eyes. Eyes exactly like her brother's. Out of the entire family, Annabelle looked like Alex the most. Dorian almost imagined her being the little female version, an 'Alex' in another life. Her hair was the same rich red as Alex's, and she had just the hint of freckles across her tiny nose. Her lips were plump, as were her cheeks, and the quizzical yet gentle expression in her eyes was one Dorian could immediately recognize.

"Annabelle," Alex said, "this is Dorian Pavus."

"Hello Annabelle," Dorian said as if he were speaking to an adult.

Tentatively the little girl reached out and brushed her fingers quickly across Dorian's moustache, and everyone gave a good laugh. Including Annabelle, who had a smile that could melt even the coldest heart. Dorian gave his sideways grin as he met Alex's eyes, and everything felt very strangely normal. It had been a long time since Dorian felt so domestic, even at Skyhold when he would go on little walks around the gardens, letting his fingers brush against Alex's subtly. Even as he sat in bed with a good book and a cup of wine.  

But as they all filed into the estate, Dorian felt that at some moment, any moment, the facade would crack. Whether it was his facade or the families, he had a foreboding feeling that it couldn't possibly be this sweet.


	3. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian expected questions. Alexander expected awkward explanations. But neither of them expected guests...

They stood by the fire in the main sitting room, the rest of the family having gone off about their business to this and that. Alexander's sisters had gone to get dressed, and Seth had vanished to the Library up in the tower. Dorian had been escorted to his quarters, and Alexander was left with his father by the flames.

"Why did you invite her?" Alexander asked, still a little gob-smacked by the news his father had just given him.

Howard Trevelyan took a long drink from his cup and stared indifferently at the fire. "Your mother needs someone here, Alexander," he explained. "While you've been away, regardless of how proud we are of you, the loss of Tristan has been difficult for her. He was her first. She needs friends."

Alex nodded. "Yes I can understand that part," he said. "But why was she not called upon sooner?"

"They've been writing back and forth," Howard said. "Lady Loren apparently had some health troubles of her own, and could unfortunately not travel."

Alexander just barely believed him. "But her daughters?"

"Helena and Ariana are close," said his father. "It may do Ariana well to have a friend right now as well. It was not long ago the poor girl lost her own husband, and now her brother."

"But Lillian?" Alex almost snapped.

His father's head turned sharply, demonstrating a great amount of severity but letting his voice remain soft. "Do you suggest I invite one daughter and not the other? Or perhaps have told Lady Loren not to bring them at all? She has very little pleasures, Alexander. As does your mother. You would take this away from them?"

"Why had they not been invited  _before_ I arrived?" Alexander pressed.

"Are you going to continue this train of thought?" his father snapped. "Or are you going to spit it out?"

Alexander gave his father a glowering, yet shrinking look. "I won't marry Lillian, Father."

His father gave him a long look, blank eyed and unmoved, before turning back to the fire. "No one is telling you to."

"You _are,"_  Alex said, leaning on the mantle of the fireplace and casting a little glare at the side of his father's face. "It will not happen, Father. I...I've come a long way. I've achieved much in the small time I've spent away from home. I am not looking for a wife." _  
_

The door opened and Alexander cut off his voice, turning away from the fire and running a hand through his hair. A small elf servant poked his young head in as the conversation ended abruptly. "I beg your pardon, my Lord, but will my Lord Inquisitor need any assistance dressing for dinner."

"You don't need to call me that here, Pailen," Alex said, finally looking up in exasperation at the servant. "I'll be fine, thank you. Please, if you will, offer your help to our guest."

Pailen looked between the uninterested Howard, and the clearly distressed Alexander. "The...Tevinter, my Lord?"

"Clearly the Tevinter, Pailen, do not ask foolish questions," Howard said, furrowing his brows at the poor servant, who shrunk away at his voice. Alexander noticed Pailen's flinch and disapproved. 

"Of course my Lord, I'm sorry my Lord," Pailen said before ducking out and practically running away.

Alexander gave his father a look, staring at his strong back with a negative feeling roiling around in his stomach. "His name is Dorian," Alex said. "Please use it." But his father didn't reply, he simply gave a slow little nod and drank from his cup once more.

Alex gave a sigh and Howard turned to face his son at last. He reached out and put his hand on Alex's shoulder. "I will have no fretting tonight," he said with a care-free smile. "We are to celebrate your deeds. There will always be sadness, we must take the joys when they come." Alex nodded and Howard patted his arm. "And Lillian has grown quite well since last you saw her."

"Oh Father," Alex said, pulling away and heading to the door.

"Be discourteous then, Alexander, by all means!" Howard yelled as Alex escaped, slamming the door and rubbing his face.

He headed up the large staircase with yet another sigh. Why had he expected this to be different? Had he thought that, with all his heroic deeds and with bringing Dorian, his father would be any different? That his entire family would suddenly change? As he reached the hallway above, he caught Layla walking towards her room. "Layla!" he said, getting her attention. She spun in shock but then smiled wide at the sight of her brother.

"I very much enjoy seeing you around again, brother," she said as Alex approached. At the sight of his distress, her smile faded however. "Why Alex, what is the matter?"

In a low voice, nearing a whisper, he brought her to the bannister and leaned in close. "How has father been? Since I've been gone, how has he...gotten on?"

Layla tried to keep her face bright, but it was difficult. "He's been...alright. He hasn't gotten any worse really."

"Nor better," Alex guessed.

She fiddled with her fingers as she answered. "Nor better. But Alex, he is very glad to see you back! It does not matter what he says when he is exasperated or...or concerned for your future. You should have seen the way he paced when we were first told of the blast. We heard so many rumours that he wouldn't believe. He was so distraught at the idea that he lost you both."

Alex could only nod. He knew his father loved him, he loved all his children, but lately...As Howard Trevelyan got older, it became more and more difficult to manage him. In more ways than one. "Has he been pressing you towards anyone? Any marriage betrothals?"

Layla laughed. "Did he tell you Lillian was coming?"

"Maker, yes," Alexander groaned.

She giggled on. "That's why you're so concerned. Especially since you brought...since you brought..."

Alex smiled softly. "Yes. Since I brought someone. But you know Father, he'll remain in denial till the day he dies. Or the day I wed."

"Which will surely do me in, if ever I see it," Layla joked. "But he  _has_ suggested I go to Orlais. Many times. Mother says she will escort me. She seems desperate to show me off at court, though I doubt I'm what those Orlesians would approve of."

"Anyone who disapproves does not deserve you," Alex said, but his love for his sister and his joy at the sight of her could only overshadow his aggravation so much.

And Layla could see it. She reached up and placed her slim hand on his cheek. "Dorian will understand."

"Oh, he will be thrilled at this new occurrence," Alex scoffed, rolling his eyes.

Layla sighed. "Well you know the rest of us understand. And accept. Just let Father be Father. Someday he won't care." She patted his cheek and moved away slightly.

Alex nodded. "Promise me you'll never do what he tells you," he begged of her. "Swear that you will follow love and not anything else."

Layla laughed. "Do you have doubts about that? I'm not Ariana."

"Shh," Alex smirked, but no one was nearby enough to hear them. They shared a little laugh, and Alex wished very much that he'd had Layla with him through all his past trials. He was terrified of anything happening to her ever, but the idea of having her by his side made him feel as though the battles would have been easier. And she would have been thrilled to meet everyone.

When Layla went off to dress, Alexander meandered to his own room, passing by closed doors here and there. The one door that was open, however, was a guest quarters. As Alex walked past, he stopped and smiled at the sight of Dorian adjusting himself in a mirror. "Go on," he cooed when he spotted Alex in the reflection. "Enjoy the view."

Alex laughed and stepped inside, closing the door behind him and slumping towards the other man. He wrapped his arms around Dorian's waist and set his chin on his shoulder. "You look dashing as always."

"I have an entire trunk full of dashing," Dorian said, fussing with his collar. "You haven't seen anything yet."

"Oh I'm sure," Alex said, but after he spoke he simply hugged Dorian tight and lay his cheek against Dorian's neck. He sighed, and Dorian's brows furrowed as he watched Alex's sad expression.

"Are you worried about the initial introductions?" Dorian wondered. "Because as far as I'm concerned it went rather well."

"No, no," Alex said. "You did well.  _They_ did well."

"Well what has you looking like a sad little boy?" Dorian asked, ceasing in his preening and crossing his arms over Alex's.

Alex sighed. "My father invited others."

Dorian chuckled. "More names for me to struggle with. I'll make do. You needn't fret so much about me."

"I'm not fretting about you," Alex said. "I'm fretting about _me_."

"Why?" Dorian asked, leaning his head back slightly so he bumped it against Alex's.

"The people my father invited are rather insufferable," he said. "And...my parents continue to push me at the younger daughter." Dorian gave a great laugh and Alexander let him go. "It isn't funny, Dorian. They'll be forcing us to talk and flirt all night! I promise you."

"Well I can match any conversation you have," Dorian said, turning around and smirking at Alexander as he pouted. "They won't know what hit them. I can spin everything back to me or away from you. Besides, a Tevinter Altus sitting at your table? Who will want to talk about you?"

Alex laughed but he hung his head. Dorian snaked his arms under Alexander's and pulled him in like a toy, hugging him and giving his neck a light kiss. "We'll make it through dinner, and then we'll pretend to go back to our separate quarters."

"Dorian," Alexander warned half-heartedly.

"What?" he asked, pulling back and staring into Alex's pale eyes. "The only one who expects me to sleep in the guest room is your father it seems."

Alex sighed. "This is going to be more difficult than I wanted it to be," he said. "I had this romantic notion of a calm trip with you easily at my side and no pressure. But I seemed to have forgotten; my family _is_ pressure."

"You may have made them sound a little more forgiving than they are," Dorian agreed. "But I've a thick skin. And you've a thick skull. We'll be fine." Alex opened his mouth to snap back but Dorian covered his lips with one finger. "Go dress for dinner. Try to wear something tight, I want something to look at while I eat."

Alex shoved Dorian's shoulder and turned around with a smirk, only to feel Dorian's hand slapping his backside hard. It made Alex jump, and Dorian's laugh could be heard even after Alexander shut the door on his way out. At least he had him.

***

Alexander was forced to stand in the line up of offspring as Lady Loren arrived. Out in the courtyard, at the head of the line beside Ariana, Alex stood with a little displeased crease between his brows. It was like he hadn't saved the world. Like he hadn't been gone for so long becoming a hero. He hadn't wanted them to make a fuss, but this felt odd. It was like he was a child again, standing here in the courtyard, waiting to meet old family friends he didn't like while his lover waited inside...

...perhaps there were some differences from when he was young.

Still, Alexander took the Trevelyan motto to heart; Modest in Temper, Bold in Deed. And while he was humble and modest, and didn't want all the attention, he wanted  _some_ recognition.

Lady Loren arrived stylishly with her two daughters. Helena looked lovely and stoic as always, matching Ariana's graces, but Lillian was--and Alex could admit it--looking livelier and healthier than she ever had. She had a brightness in her eyes and a warm glow in her pale cheeks that threw him off momentarily. He was so used to her looking sick and thin and tired, but now she seemed a little more plump. A little older too, which seemed to suit her.

Not that it made any difference, but it was nice to see she'd come into her own.

"Tessa, my darling, come to me now," Lady Loren said, opening her arms wide and holding Tessa close. Alexander's mother almost immediately teared up, and Alex reminded himself that she was hurting. She needed this. He could suck it up for a time.

Ariana and Helena shared a satisfied smile as Lady Loren and their parents talked of the trip and showed off the younger children. Lillian, of course, only had eyes for Alexander, while he spent the majority of this greeting with his eyes on the ground or on any other face.

"And Alexander has come back to us for a visit," Tessa was saying as she led Lady Loren along the line. "He's been--"

"Oh I know very well what he has been up to," Lady Loren said. She looked older to Alexander, and he supposed it had been a while since she'd seen him, but he gave her an elegant smile all the same. "You are quite the news, little Alex. Well, I suppose not little anymore." She laughed at her own joke boisterously, and for a moment Alexander actually felt a little uncomfortable in his muscles.

"Ah, yes, you're all we've been talking about," Lady Loren said. "News of your heroism is always on our lips, is it not, Lillian?"

"I believe it is on everyone's, Mother," Lillian said, and Alex was surprised at how gentle her voice was. When they were younger, no matter how thin and pale Lillian looked, she was always the loudest speaker and the most talkative. She took after her mother, while Helena took after their absent, quiet father.

"I'm no different than before," Alex said simply. "My challenges could have befallen anyone."

Lady Loren swatted his shoulder gently. "Do not talk yourself down, Inquisitor," she said, making him flinch. "You should be as proud as your family is  _of_ you."

Alex gave a tight smile and bowed his head, and that seemed to be the end of it. Everyone turned to go inside while servants helped unpack the trunks their guests came with. Alex gave a passing thanks to one of the maids, who ducked by him cautiously with a blush. Annabelle found Alexander's hand as they re-entered the estate, and he held her little fingers tight as they walked back towards the grand sitting room. Only when she was taken away by her Nanny, being hidden away for dinner with her young nephew Dillon, did Alexander feel alone.

Standing by the fire in the sitting room, with a glass of wine in his hand and a swagger to his mannerisms, was Dorian. Alex was glad to see him, at least, and he was all eyes. Dorian had dressed particularly well for the occasion, and Maker he looked handsome. Gloriously so. The colour he'd chosen suited him well, a soft orange shade that made his skin tone look stunning. Alex was blushing the entire time his father introduced Dorian to the other guests.

The reactions of the new arrivals was quite interesting to watch. Lady Loren looked taken aback at first, but once she was told about Dorian's assistance in the Inquisition she puffed up his feathers as much as she had done with Alex. Helena looked absolutely terrified at the mention of Dorian being an Altus from Tevinter, but when Dorian kindly explained that he was not as connected as all that, she looked a little calmer. Alexander believed she was more concerned about the fact that he was most certainly a mage. A  _free_ one.

What no one expected was Lillian's reaction. Dorian and perhaps Lady Loren were the only ones to truly realize the gravity, but Alexander was curious all the same. Lillian's face erupted into a blush, and her blue eyes went wide at the mere sight of Dorian. Before he was even properly introduced, and before she knew anything about the man, she looked absolutely star struck. Not with his deeds or with his family ties, but with  _him_. She looked upon Dorian as if he were a God, smiling awkwardly and gulping regularly as they all sat and talked before dinner was served.

Alex casually migrated to Dorian's side, and they were both quite adept at joining the conversation and being at ease in the noble group, but Lillian continued to stare and fawn. And Dorian realized, as everyone spoke of this useless thing and that unimportant matter, that she was a girl entranced.

And in his mind, all he could think was ' _shit_.'

***

"Dorian, tell us why you decided to join the Inquisition?" Lady Loren asked as the plates of the first course were removed. "I can't imagine why a Tevinter Altus would be interested."

Alexander tensed, but Dorian gave a soft chuckle. "As I said before, my Lady, I am not particularly associated with my title. Not to a strong degree. I love my home, but there are many aspects of it that I wish to change."

"Indeed," Lillian said, enthralled as she sat across from Dorian...and beside Alexander.

Dorian gave her a polite nod. "I joined the Inquisition with just that in mind. At first. But the picture became much larger, and though the immediate threat was in the south, I couldn't stand by and watch the world crumble. Particularly not when a Tevinter cult was taking part. What the Inquisition came to stand for made it all the more worthy."

"And made you feel all the more worthy for helping," Alexander joked, earning a gentle laugh from the crowded dinner table. Dorian gave him a wink when no one was looking.

"So are you a mage?" Margaret piped up suddenly. "You must be a mage."

"Margaret," Tessa warned her young daughter, casting a glare from one head of the table.

Margaret looked astonished that she could get in trouble for such a simple question. "But he must be! He's from Tevinter, so he  _must_ be a mage!"

" _Margaret!"_ boomed their father, and Dorian saw Alexander visibly jump in his chair. The silence that followed was strangely tense, and Dorian watched Margaret shrink back and stare at her empty place setting.

With a little clear of his throat, Dorian saved the moment. "To clear the tension in the air, yes. I am a mage. But you needn't fear anything from me, as I swear not to practice magic whilst I'm here."

"Well that's terribly unexciting," Lady Loren said with a sigh, taking a sip from her glass. Alexander smirked, and Dorian looked intrigued.

"Why did you leave Tevinter?" Lillian asked as the next course was brought in. "If you love it so much, why go away?"

Alexander reached for his glass and took a nervous sip. His family sounded like  _he_ had sounded when Dorian first arrived to Haven. The amount of questions Alexander had asked Dorian about this and that, mages and slaves, the Black Divine...he wondered if Dorian was sick of the conversation.

But he also felt panicked about Dorian's answer. Dorian didn't like lying, he didn't like secrets, so what would he say? 

Finally, Dorian replied as Alex bit his lips into a hard line. "Due to the problems I felt were too present in my homeland, I thought it a smart bet to travel a bit. Explore other options and really see how the rest of the world saw the Imperium. I was disappointed but sadly not surprised. Not everything in the Imperium is as bad and terrifying as you seem to think. And there are some things I believe we  _do_ do better than you," he smirked. "But little did I expect to stumble upon the possible end of the world."

Everyone smiled and Alex exhaled slowly, relieved. Dorian cast him a calming look across the table and Alex picked at his food.

"You must prefer the way mages are in the Imperium," Lillian said, leaning across the table rather boldly. "I've always felt that the Circles here were out of hand."

"Lillian, you have family from the Circles," Lady Loren said. "Show them a small amount of respect."

"But they're gone now, and our relatives are free," Lillian defended. She looked back to Dorian with an unfortunately warm smile. "Perhaps we should take a page from Tevinter and let them be free."

"That's very bold talk, young lady," Howard said from behind his wine glass. Everyone turned to look at him as he stared down Lillian. "What happened after that horrible attack in Kirkwall is not something to take lightly. The mages rebelled. Hundreds of people died."

"The Templars rebelled too, father," Alexander said, shocked by the sound of his own voice. Howard even looked surprised to hear Alex speaking up. "I came across far more rogue Templars than mages."

"I'm not saying it wasn't disastrous on both fronts," Howard said, putting down his glass. Which meant trouble. "But Templars can be corralled and controlled. When mages run loose, all manner of horrors could occur."

Dorian arched an eyebrow. "Forgive me, but," he began saucily, "I could hand a sword to a free man and he could just as easily turn on me."

Howard glared at him. "And how does that analogy cover possession?"

"Anyone can be possessed," Dorian argued, and Howard seemed to read that as a minor threat. "It connects perfectly with my analogy. Just because a mage has magic, or a man has a weapon, does not mean they will use it. It depends on the man."

"If the Maker meant for mages to be free, He would not have made it so difficult for them to control their gifts," Howard said as everyone looked around nervously. Ariana and Helena stayed silent side by side, and Lady Loren simply watched the arguments as if it were a show. Tessa looked annoyed but not surprised, and Alexander was steadily getting angry.

"I can assure you, Bann Trevelyan, that it is not difficult with proper education," Dorian said. "From what I understand, many of the circles are often full of improper teachings and manipulating methods. Methods that  _would_ make a mage dangerous outside of the circle."

"Templars are the only way to keep order," Seth said, his young voice sounding far too sure of his opinion. Alexander hated how much he sounded like their father, and Howard even smiled on his younger son the moment he spoke. "A Warrior needs training and guidance too. Without the circles, how will mages learn and control their gifts?"

"Well young man, do you think  _I_ was raised in a circle?" Dorian asked, tilting his head and eyeing Seth, who quieted down just at Dorian's glance. "Where I come from, attending a Circle is a privilege, not a condition. Nor is it a prison. There are many other options for mages, believe me."

Howard scoffed. "Other options such as taking rule and owning slaves?"

"Father," Alexander snapped.

"Howard, please," Tessa said at the same time.

But Dorian was unmoved. He simply reached for his glass and took a dainty sip, setting it down again with the grace and poise of a well-bred, controlled human being.

Lillian swallowed hard. "I think mages should be free," she said with determination, though she kept her eyes on her plate.

Howard chuckled. "Well your thoughts are your own my dear, you should perhaps keep them that way."

In any other circumstance, Dorian would defend the poor girl. He would defend himself more, if he had the nerve. But sitting at the table, looking across at Alex who looked absolutely humiliated, and eyeing the tense and quiet faces about him, he decided it would be best to reign it in. Political discussions were dangerous at the best of times, and with a Tevinter mage sitting at the table of a well-connected Chantry family...He wanted to save Alexander from the silence that followed. In fact, Dorian wanted to brighten up every face around the table, but he was finding it difficult to do. He only truly felt a heated annoyance from Alexander's father, but everyone seemed a little put off by either the past conversation or his very presence.

It was awkward to discuss mages with a mage present, even one with no real say on the matter of the Circles. 

Luckily, Lady Loren had a gift of conversation as well. "Tessa, love, you  _must_ have your cook write up a copy of that soup recipe. I'd like to give it to Mira when I return home. It's quite a lovely dish."

And as if it never happened, the entire table burst into discussions about soup, food, recipes, parties, and other meaningless rabble. Dorian joined in here and there, discussing scandals he'd been part of and sharing the story of the Orlesian court with the others. But Alexander, he noticed, stayed almost entirely mute for the rest of the meal. And it made Dorian very sad to see.


	4. The Truth About the Trevelyans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander can only say and do so much about his family, but when it becomes clearer to Dorian that there's something bitter underneath, he tries his best to comfort his sweet boy.

When dinner ended, at long last, everyone meandered slowly back to the sitting room for a little bit of discussion before bed. Seth and Margaret were sent off to sleep sooner than the rest, and Ariana went to wish her own son a good night. Annabelle was brought in momentarily to say goodnight, and Dorian noticed that it was the only time Alexander looked happy since his father's argument. 

Dorian was disappointed when Alexander excused himself rather early, claiming to be exhausted from the travel. Everyone bought it, which shocked him more. He expected a few unsure goodnights or at least a few pleading requests for him to stay. But they agreed it must have been a long journey, and he needed rest. All Dorian got was a passing little smile as Alexander left the room.

Dorian remained downstairs, talking freely and listening intently, until the last few people remained. Tessa and Lady Loren were caught up in gossip and filling each other in on what they had been up to, and Helena spoke in little whispers to Ariana by the window. Once everyone had been sectioned off, and he was left with no one but Lillian sitting by his side, Dorian decided now was a perfect time to retire.

Much to Lillian's unhappiness. But that was a challenge for another day.

When Dorian walked past Alexander's room, the door was shut. Under it, through the little crack, Dorian couldn't even see any light shining from beyond. He thought maybe he should just burst in and try and cheer his love up, but there was a part of him that hesitated at the door. With a little frown on his usually bright face, Dorian sighed and walked away. Clearly Alexander had been more troubled by the second-hand fear and anger than Dorian had been. Dorian had been right in saying he had thick skin, but Alexander...he let many things get to him.

When he'd found out that Andraste had not been his saviour in the Fade, it took two days of solitude for him to accept it. It had also taken both Dorian and Cassandra's kind and faithful words to make him feel important again. Dorian knew the loss of the grey warden, Stroud, had also been a blow, but Alexander also had a defence mechanism when it came to unpleasant things; avoidance.

Dorian had tried to get Alex to talk about Tristan. He'd tried to make the younger man explain why he was at the conclave, what his brother thought about it all, but to no avail. Either that or he would get short answers before Alex changed the subject.

As Dorian settled into his own bed, he could only guess at the emotional thought process Alexander went through. Sometimes, things hit him like punch to the gut. Other times...he brushed them away.

Dorian wasn't sure what tonight had done to Alex.

***

Dorian woke to the sound of something banging, almost crashing, to the floor. Somewhere in his sleepy daze he thought he heard someone yell, but as he sat up and stared about his dim room he wasn't sure of anything. He listened, sitting there perfectly still, until the sound of voices truly hit his ear. Outside his door, down the hall a ways he believed, people were arguing. He couldn't make out their words, only their tempers, and with a flourish he jumped from his bed and threw a robe haphazardly around his shirtless torso.

Lighting a candle, he opened his door with a creak and peered out into the hall. A few flames lined the walls, giving dim light, and Dorian continued to listen to the anger that pooled into the estate.

He guessed who it was. Lord and Lady Trevelyan. Screaming at each other with no care for others.

And Dorian also guessed that this was it, the thing Alexander worried about on the boat coming across. The reason why he was so silent at dinner, and the reason why he tried to make things seem better than they were. His father had a temper, and he was most definitely the most stubborn and opinionated member of the family. Dorian wondered, as he stood there in the hall listening to the drama, if it had always been this way. If Alexander had grown up in a home that forced him into humility from the start.

Dorian could imagine the tiny boy, with bright blue eyes and an even brighter countenance, desperately trying to pretend everything was all right. Hopelessly pleading to his parents to calm down, to stop yelling, to forget about it. And it made Dorian feel incredibly sad. To think about the man he knew now, with his high head and easy-going nature, having battled with this for his entire life. Dorian didn't exactly have a perfect childhood, but he had his own scars because of it.

How had a strict household bred such a kind, caring, selfless man as Alex?

With a determined stride, Dorian made his way down the hall. The yelling got louder the closer he got, and when he stopped in front of Alex's door he realized how loud it must be to him. How easily Alex could hear his parents. Dorian feared that this room had been Alex's for years. How much had he overheard?

With one single knock, Dorian opened Alexander's door. The fireplace was low, but the room was warm, and near the window Alexander's large bed stood piled with blankets. The canopy around him wasn't drawn, but it hung over his head and kept the warmth in. Under the blankets, Alexander was huddled into a ball with the quilt pulled up close to his chin. He looked like a child, and Dorian sighed.

Alex sat up slightly in a start. "Dorian," he almost hissed. "What are you doing?"

"I thought you heard me," Dorian defended, closing the door.

"Go back to bed," Alexander said, but he hardly had any demand behind those words, and Dorian simply continued to walk towards him. He set his candle down on the little bed side table.

"I'm _coming_ to bed," Dorian said, climbing onto the large thing on his hands and knees and flopping down beside Alex. "Give me some blanket, it's freezing here."

Alex did as he was told, pulling the quilt out from under Dorian so he could throw it over the other man. He actually managed a little smile as Dorian adjusted Alex for optimal cuddling, lifting his arm so that he could lay on his chest. Alex held him close as the yelling went on. "I'm so sorry," Alex whispered after a short silence.

"You needn't apologize for anything," Dorian said.

"I should though," Alex retorted. "Especially over dinner. I can't believe what they--"

"I've heard worse, Alex, I can promise you that," Dorian said, cutting Alex off before he could attempt to apologize more. "In all honesty I'm sorry for you. You could have told me there were problems."

Alex gave a sad chuckle. "Don't you recall? I seem to have forgotten all about them." He sighed and his father yelled in the distance, making Alex flinch.

Dorian frowned at Alexander's fear and sat up suddenly, propping himself up a bit with the pillows and opening his arms. "Come here," he said, and without any assurance that he was fine or any statement that Dorian was being silly, Alex huddled into Dorian's side. Dorian held him tight, giving him a little squeeze. "You don't have to hide things from me. I dislike lies."

"I wasn't lying to you," Alex said. "At least not really. I was lying to myself, hoping maybe if I believed it enough..." He drifted off and nuzzled his cheek against Dorian's chest.

"Was it like this when you were young?" Dorian asked.

Alex gave a tiny shrug. "Sort of. Father didn't yell at people as much. Except my brother and I. More so Tristan, being the eldest."

Dorian frowned. "Was he ever physical?" Alexander sighed and opened his mouth to respond. "Wait, no," Dorian said, changing his mind. "I anticipate the answer and I'd rather pretend I don't know. Otherwise I may have to avenge you." Alex gave a sad breathy laugh and pulled himself closer. "I'm guessing he handled your brother's Templar decision worse than you let on," Dorian mumbled after a moment of pause.

"He handled everything worse than I let on," Alex said, feeling a little rage quelling in his chest. "He didn't want my brother to train with a sword and shield at first. He took his shield and threw it across the yard once. Tristan was ten." Dorian frowned, but let Alexander rant on. "It's the whole reason I trained with a two-handed weapon, just to try and please him, but he never cared what I did. Only Tristan cared what I did. I wanted to  _be_ him."

"Were you and Tristan close?" Dorian asked. "I must admit, I can't be sure. You don't ever seem eager to talk about him."

Finally, Alex cracked. "Because I _miss_ him," he said pitifully. "We were never on such a personal level that I went to him with everything, but we were brothers in arms. When he trained, I did. We sparred together and travelled together, and once we were old enough Father loved to show us off. And we took pride in it, but we also liked to make jokes about it. I was the first person Tristan told about his desire to join the Templars. And I told him to go for it."

"You were supportive," Dorian reasoned. "That's a positive trait, Alexander, never act as if it isn't."

"Look where it got him," Alex said sadly. "If I'd told him it was a stupid idea, he'd be alive."

"Or dead," Dorian said, stopping this nonsense right now. "Your Father still could have sent you both to the Conclave." 

"Then it could have been him who was cursed with this...this...nonsense," Alexander said, lifting his hand to find the scar of his mark there. "It should have been him. He would have done a better job."

"Now stop this," Dorian warned. "You're getting at yourself with misplaced anger. Don't do that. It will ruin you." Alex looked up at Dorian's pleading face with a frown. "Believe me," Dorian said softly.

Alexander sighed and ran a hand over his face, and they lay there for a moment just listening. Eventually, the yelling quieted down and Alex felt a little more relaxed. Dorian could feel Alex's breathing go back to something a bit more normal. He was terrified that his poor boy would tear up, and Dorian couldn't stand it if Alex cried.

"My father tried to change my mind with a forbidden dark magic," Dorian tried to joke. "At least your father isn't that bad."

"I'm not trying to compete," Alex said bitterly.

"No, I know you're not, I'm just saying," Dorian defended. He sighed. "I'm only saying that no one is perfect. Remember?  _You_  told me that. Now I see it was a warning."

Alex gave a small little laugh and pulled his body closer to Dorian's. "Maker's breath, you  _are_ cold," he said in a soft whisper.

Dorian smiled. Whenever Alex changed a dark subject, at least with a smile, Dorian knew he had succeeded. If Alexander brushed past it and pretended it hadn't happened,  _that_ 's when Dorian worried. But now he looked down at Alex, who had his eyes closed, and a little grin was on his lips. "Do you want to hear something that may amuse you?" Dorian asked, trying to continue the levity.

"You  _are_ susceptible to drafts?" Alex chuckled.

Dorian pinched his arm slightly. "No, you little shit," he laughed. "I'm simply trying to tell you that I don't think you'll have to worry about Lillian on this trip."

"Why?" Alex wondered, tilting his head up so he could look at Dorian.

Dorian was smirking hard. "Because she is absolutely besotted with me."

Alex sat right up and stared at him. "She's  _what_?" he asked skeptically.

"Obsessed with me," Dorian said.

"She is not!"

" _She is,_ " Dorian defended, as if he wanted this poor girl to be so interested in him. "From the moment she walked into the room she was lost to my charms. I told you I attract all sorts."

"She's just friendly!" Alex argued.

"Did you not see the way she fawned over me at dinner?" Dorian asked. "And afterwards? She couldn't leave my side! I had to escape rather than be left alone with her."

"She's far too young for you!" said Alex.

Dorian laughed. "Well it isn't like I'm going to  _do_ anything about this, Alex!" he said, amused by the way Alex seemed to be annoyed by this crush of Lillian's. "Besides,  _you're_ too young for me."

"Oh do not start," Alex said, sitting up to a kneeling position and shaking his head at Dorian. "She can't be interested in you. Lillian's father is a great hater of the Imperium, something he most certainly passed on to Helena."

"Not Lillian it seems," Dorian said with a chuckle.

Alexander rubbed his forehead. "Maker's breath," he mumbled. And then he was pointing a warning finger at Dorian. "You leave her alone then," he said. "Don't try to be polite or be her friend. I know you, you love to show off. You love when people love you, so let her be. You'll only break her idiot heart."

Dorian leaned forward and grabbed Alex's finger. "Are you demanding something of me,  _my lord?"_

"Oh for goodness sake," Alex said, trying to pull his finger away but oddly being unsuccessful. For a moment then all he did was stare into Dorian's eyes, his smirk turning into a gentle smile, and a little soft exhale coming from his lips. "You always distract me from my troubles," he said sweetly. "Even when I don't want you to. Even when you shouldn't  _be_ here," he joked lightly.

Dorian gave a low, alluring giggle. "I'm very distracting."

Alex leaned a little closer. "Yes, you are." In an instant they were at each other's lips, kissing one another with a fire that had suddenly burst forth from their sillyness. Dorian let go of Alex's finger and dug his hand's into his hair, while Alex lifted his own hand to cup Dorian's cheek softly.

Alex gave off a little moan but then stopped, breaking the kiss and pursing his lips. "This could be dangerous," he said. "We may need to behave ourselves."

"Where's the fun in that?" Dorian purred, giving Alex's hair a little tug and bringing him closer.

"I can't be quiet," Alex explained with a little hot flush in his cheeks.

Dorian chuckled. "I wouldn't want you to be."

"My parents, Dorian," Alex said, pulling back far enough to make Dorian see his conflicted expression. "And my entire family."

"If no one hears you at Skyhold, no one will here," Dorian said.

"No one has a room near me at Skyhold," Alexander said with a slight laugh. "You're very lucky that's the case."

"I'm lucky in many ways," Dorian said, making Alex smile sheepishly. "But let me touch you," Dorian almost pleaded, and the neediness in his voice drove Alex to a sigh. Dorian scooted closer. "Let me  _feel_ you," he whispered, wrapping one leg stealthily around Alex as he knelt before him. He kissed the bump on his neck. "It's been a long day. Let me ease the stress."

"Why am I such a play thing to you?" Alexander groaned lightly.

"You're not," Dorian said, looking up at Alex seriously. "I love you. And I'm a giver," he winked.

Alexander lolled his head back and gave a soft groan. "You make this very difficult."

"No, I make it hard," Dorian said wickedly, reaching a hand forward and finding Alexander under his thin trousers. Alex gave a little gasp and grabbed at Dorian's arm, but he didn't stop him. "Mmm, I make it _easily_ hard," Dorian smirked, looking up from Alex's neck to see the hints of pleasure already on his face.

Alex looked down at him. "I don't want to say no," he groaned.

"So don't," Dorian said, sneaking his fingers under the waistband of Alex's pants. "Simple as that." He gripped him, and Alex melted at the touch, crumbling down to the bed and allowing Dorian to hover over him. Dorian rubbed his body all along Alexander's, all the while slowly working his hand up and down Alex's length, eliciting soft moan after moan as he kissed from Alex's ear down to his collar bone.

Alex arched his back. "Dorian," he breathed, and the other man grinned to hear his name whispered so softly. Dorian hooked one leg over Alex's and pulled himself closer, bending his head down to kiss Alex's lips with a rough passion. He nibbled there lightly as well, feeling Alex's chest rise and fall rapidly. With surprising speed and agility, Dorian was straddling Alexander's hips, pulling his trousers down in one swift motion. He removed his own robe and bent down to smile at Alex, whose face was red with the heat he felt.

Dorian gave a little chuckle as he hovered over Alex, and Alex just smirked before lifting his head to kiss Dorian deeply. As he did, Dorian started to roll his hips against Alex's, making him writhe beneath him. Pressing their foreheads together, eyes closed, Dorian rocked back and forth and around in little circles just to drive Alexander mad, and it was succeeding. Alex had his hands gripped tight around Dorian's backside, and he pressed him ever closer until their breaths were fast and warm on each other's skin.

"Take me," Alexander finally breathed, and Dorian shivered at the plea. He didn't need to be told twice. With his eyes half veiled, he moved off a little ways in order to get his own bottoms off. Alex slid out of his awkwardly but quickly, eagerly awaiting Dorian's weight back atop him. And Dorian was glad to oblige. Once bare, he pressed the length of his whole body down on Alexander's thick corded muscle, kissing him and feeling that perfect skin on skin contact. It made him sigh with want, and Alexander loved knowing he pleased Dorian in anyway.

Alex threw the blanket over them skillfully and nuzzled closer to Dorian as he readied himself...

But then something crashed, and Alexander's father could be heard yelling and banging doors in a sudden rage. He called to a servant for some reason and Dorian could make out the sounds of a woman complaining.

And they stopped. Alexander flopped his head back and closed his eyes, covering his face with both hands and wishing the darkness could hide this horrible moment. Why did his family ruin everything? In one day, they ruined everything!

Dorian sighed and rolled off of Alex, pulling the blanket up and around them to keep the warmth in the sheets. He positioned his pillows well, and forced his arm underneath Alexander's head. Dorian physically yanked Alex to his chest, and Alex buried his face in the man he loved with a frown. Eyes shut tight to the anger outside, he sighed again and again, and Dorian just shushed him softly as they lay--unfulfilled and troubled--listening to the rabble.


	5. The Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regardless of the strain Alexander's parents put on many people, Dorian was soon to find that not everything about the Trevelyan nobles was dark. In fact, there was far more light amongst the family than he'd imagined.

"Dorian...Wake up now..."

"No...more sleep."

"Everyone is down for breakfast. Dorian. Dorian? The servants will clean the rooms in a while."

"I'll be up."

"They'll find you here."

"They won't...shh..."

"...I love you."

***

Dorian rubbed at his face and eyes and tried to clear the sleepiness from his mind. His body felt like it hadn't really gotten enough rest, and he was languid and groggy as he rolled over with a little squeaky groan...

To the empty side of the bed. "Alex?" he said, his low voice gently echoing off the old stone walls. He blinked a few times and craned his neck around the room, but Alex was gone. And Dorian was alone in Alex's room. "Oops," he breathed to himself, sitting up a ways. With a clear rush in his movements he flung his legs over the bed and put his trousers back on. Somehow almost brushed under the bed, his robe lay cold with the morning draft, and he slung it on fast.

When a little knock came from the door and it started to creak open, Dorian had to admit to himself he felt panicked.

"Aaaaalex?" a soft voice cooed. "Are you--" A little face peered around the door and gave a gasp at the sight of Dorian, who also looked rather shocked, sitting on the edge of the bed with his hair a mess. Annabelle put her fingers to her lips and mumbled, " _You're_ not Alex." Her voice was gentle, but lower than Dorian would have imagined, and she eyed him up and down a moment before he gave her as courteous of a smile as he could.

"Sadly no, I am _not_ your brother," Dorian said awkwardly. Was there a blush in his cheek? Maker's breath, probably. How could a six-year-old cause him embarrassment? "But good morning all the same," he added.

And that seemed to be an invitation. Annabelle pushed the door open a little wider and padded into the room with ease. She was already dressed, her fiery hair done up in a fanciful braid, ready for the day. Dorian would have pegged her for a shy one, but here she came, bold as ever, climbing up on the bed with difficulty. "Are you here...Are you...Did you have a nightmare?" Annabelle asked as she finally managed to make it to up to the bed.

Dorian still felt a little panicked. This was a situation new to him, but then again, most domestic situations were a new or rare occurrence. His lover's little sister catching him off guard was most definitely nerve wracking though, and the slightly ajar door did not help. "I did have a bad dream, yes," Dorian said gently, tying his robe a little tighter.

Annabelle nodded as if she understood much too well. "Mother said...Mother said dreams can be dangerous," Annabelle said, picking at the skin on her finger and barely looking at Dorian. Her feet dangled off the edge of the bed, and her tiny little slippers had tiny little heels.

"Dreams are only dreams," Dorian said sweetly.

But Annabelle shook her head with a sad little smile. "Noo," she cooed softly. "There are bad things in dreams that...they want you to help them but you shouldn't help them."

"What do you mean?" he asked, eyes narrowed.

She swung her feet back and forth. "This one time, there...he was like a man but not really. And his voice was loud."

"Who are you talking about?" Dorian interrupted.

Annabelle looked puzzled. She pushed the small strands of her hair out of her face awkwardly. "Um, the...in my dream, the man in my dream. He asked me to help him come out of my dream. He said I could invite him to tea and he'd make me have no more nightmares." She looked him right in the eye and Dorian felt a little cold sweat drift across his spine.

"Shit," Dorian breathed.

Annabelle gave a little gasp. "You're not supposed to say that!" she scolded.

Dorian cleared his throat and tried to clear his mind. "Yes, sorry, you're right of course. Don't tell your mother." She smiled when he gave her a wink. "Annabelle," he said, leaning a little closer. "Do you have bad dreams often?"

She nodded hard, still picking at her fingers and avoiding his eyes.

"And in these dreams, are there..." What was he supposed to call them? "Monsters?"

Annabelle nodded again. "Sometimes they're nice. But not really nice, but there  _are_ nice ones and they tell me it's alright. And...and they ask me for help but I don't think they will be nice to help." She looked out the window and then back at him. "Do you have that too?"

Dorian sighed and felt a pit of terror in his gut. "I do," he said sadly. "I do have dreams like that."

To his surprise, Annabelle smiled. "Oh good," she said, and in an instant she was climbing back off the bed and heading for the door. "I'm-I'm going to find...Alex," she said with determination, and her little grin made Dorian smile weakly. She closed the door behind her, bless her, and Dorian dropped his head into his hands.

"Mafarath's balls," he breathed to himself, and then he groaned with unnecessary volume. Hands dug in his hair, he stared across at the tapestry on the wall for a moment in blank, terrified silence.

What was he supposed to do? How many more things could arise that would cause tension? Somehow, Dorian felt like this would cause more of a fuss over his presence. If he just so happened to blindly inform everyone that they may have a mage in the family, how quickly would it be thrown back at him? It was irrational to think of right here and now, but it ran through his head all the same.

He had to find Alex. That was all. Then, maybe, he'd figure out whether to tell the man or keep it to himself. But if he kept it to himself, horrible, terrible things could happen. He groaned again and got up.

Peering out the door cautiously, he made sure the coast was clear before dashing back to his own room to dress. Which he did in an uncharacteristic hurry.

As he made his way downstairs, nervously rubbing the back of his neck, he hoped to bump into Alex without so much as a hint of the others. It wasn't that he didn't like Alexander's family--at least most of them--but he was too distracted and rather troubled to make small talk. Which was saying a lot for him.

But he knew that he would most likely find Alexander among family. It was all he wanted to do while he was here, which Dorian could understand. Even with underlying problems, he knew Alex missed his family. And so, as calmly as he could, he headed towards the sound of voices with a deep breath.

Inside the dining room, Lady Loren, Lillian, Tessa and the twins, sat talking and eating. Dorian was immediately prepared to flee and search for Alex by himself, but as if tuned to his movements Lillian spied him in the doorway.

"Lord Pavus, good morning," she piped up, getting up from where she sat and coming to meet him. Luckily no one else seemed to pay them any mind, and she stood before him with an eager smile. "How did you sleep?"

He groaned inwardly and invoked his classic sense of nobility and propriety. Dorian wasn't awake enough to handle this bundle of energy. "Well, thank you," he said, "though perhaps too well as it seems I missed breakfast." But before he could speak again she was talking over him.

"Oh no no, you didn't at all," Lillian said. "May I make a plate for you? There's a great assortment."

She actually reached for him and he back peddled. "Actually, not much of a breakfast person, really," he said, making her smile dwindle just slightly. "Have you seen Alexander, actually?" he asked, scanning the room behind her for a sight of him.

Lillian was frowning slightly. "Lord Trevelyan," she said a bit bitterly, though Dorian didn't ever imagine Alex being Lord-Anything. "I haven't. Why?"

"I've something to discuss with him." When her silence alerted him to a clearly intense dislike, he looked back to her eyes and tried to smile. Not too charmingly. "Inquisition matters. Terribly dull I'm afraid. Nothing I'd want to bore you with."

"I'm sure you'd never bore me," she said, and Dorian gritted his teeth behind his smile.

After what felt like a very awkward stare, young Margaret appeared out of nowhere with a tart in her fingers. "Alex is down at the water," she said, making both Lillian and Dorian look down. "He's with Layla and Annabelle."

Dorian gave her a smile. "Thank you, dear." With a passing glance at Lillian he was off. He worried about being a little  _too_ kind to her now, and a quick escape was sure to be a better option than a fine and fond farewell. He neared the large doors and saw a young elf girl standing at the ready. From a large hook behind her, she took a long and warm looking coat down.

"You'll need something warm, ser," she said as he approached.

He smiled brilliantly at her, keeping up his charming, debonair attitude. "Ah, thank you," he said as she helped the coat on. "Quite stylish. And the right fit. You are a gift," he said, making her smile. He'd had slaves. Servants. Whatever. And unlike some of the other Tevinter nobles he knew, he treated them with the utmost respect. After all, why would anyone treat those who handled their lives with disdain? 

The moment Dorian opened the door, the cool air hit him, and he scoffed. It was a clear, sunny morning but the cold bit harder with the lack of clouds. The little courtyard was mainly silent, but as he walked to the gates he managed to inquire quickly about the lake.

There was apparently a path, and Dorian made his way over to it with ease. He could see the frozen water in the distance, and a little tree lined walk way guided him gently down a small hill to the little frozen beach. In the summer he imagined it must be beautiful here, with the bright sun flooding through the blooming trees. The lake he could imagine being somewhat warm, and full of fish to go after. He didn't really like the cold, but all in all he could see why this little retreat meant so much to Alex.

And it made him sorry that he had poor news for him.

A small little retaining wall kept the snowy grass away from the rocky shore, and as Dorian made his way down elegantly polished stone steps, he could hear and smell a campfire as well as cheerful shouts.

"Put your back into it! Come on!" Layla was yelling from the shore, laughing to herself as someone in the distance shoved snow off the ice with an interestingly long shovel. It was wider than any Dorian had ever seen, and he was curious as to why the person moved the snow in the first place. Annabelle sat at a bench near the fire, swinging her legs back and forth as Dorian crunched onto the beach.

Annabelle gave him a pleasant smile, and he returned it as best he could. He worried for the poor girl, but if he could at least watch out for her, maybe he wouldn't have to say anything.

"Dorian, good morning," Layla said, turning to smile at him as he approached. Her fair hair was done up today, hidden inside a warm looking hat that he was actually a little jealous of. He could feel the cold numbing his ears as he moved to her side. She looked him up and down. "You look well."

"As do you," Dorian said kindly. He liked Layla. She was kind and soft but determined, and her blue eyes were just a shade darker than her brothers. He looked out over the ice to the distant mountains beyond. What a stunning view it was, with frosty trees lining the little valley beyond. He took a deep breath and exhaled rather cheerily. "Not too hard on the eyes," he said.

"You're not bad yourself," Layla joked.

He looked down at her, surprised a moment, before laughing heartily. "I see  _you_  are the one who was blessed with a sense of humour."

Layla giggled and shrugged. "Margaret has her moments. But Alexander was always rather witty. Compared to you though I imagine he's completely at a loss."

"Mmm, yes, I do throw him for a loop most of the time," Dorian agreed, and Layla laughed. She looked very much like her mother, from what Dorian saw, and only those steely blue eyes from her father seemed to show any sign of his presence over her. "Speaking of," Dorian went on. "Where in the world  _is_ your brother?"

Layla looked at him with a smirk, and he tilted his head in confusion until she pointed out to the ice. Dorian followed her hand, and with a chuckle at himself, he realized who was out on the lake shovelling like a mad man. As if on queue, Alex slowed down and stood up, leaning on the shovel and wiping at his forehead. He was clad in all kinds of warm gear, including an absolutely hideous hat and a massive woolen scarf, but at the sight of Dorian he grinned ear to ear. "Good morning!" he called, his voice echoing.

Dorian laughed. "Quite the do-gooder," he smirked at Layla.

She smiled. "He's big brother," she said gently.

"What _is_ he wearing?" Dorian chuckled.

Layla chuckled back. "Alex has to keep warm," she said, and her words seemed weighted. But Dorian just blinked at her a moment before heading out, precariously, onto the ice.

He almost slipped, and in the distance he could hear Alex chuckle at him. "I don't want to hear anything, or else I'm not coming out there to you," Dorian scolded.

"I didn't ask you to," said Alex, but he walked a little towards Dorian in order to cut down his dangerous commute. When they came together at last Dorian could see a bright flush in Alex's cheeks, probably both from the exercise and the cold, and it was very,  _very_ adorable.

"I don't know about you," Dorian purred, "but I very much wish I could kiss you."

Alex gave a crooked grin and looked over Dorian's shoulder to the shore. Layla was tending to the fire absently and Annabelle had picked her way over to a little block of ice that had broken off the water. "Make it quick," he said, looking at Dorian with a flash of mischeif in his eyes.

Dorian grinned, and reached out to grab Alexander's jacket. He yanked him close and kissed him hard, and Alex chuckled under Dorian's mouth. He pulled off. "Alright now, come off it," he mused, but the blush in his cheeks was brighter. "You're going to get us thrown out."

"Of your own home?" Dorian mused, sliding his chilly hands into the little pockets of his borrowed coat.

"You'd be surprised," Alex joked, but when he looked back at Dorian he frowned slightly. "You look cold," he said.

"Well I didn't pack for winter, exactly," Dorian said with a slightly scolding tone to his voice.

Alex chuckled and removed the heavy wool scarf around his neck. He wrapped it around Dorian's and the other man cooed. "Such a gentleman, you are," Dorian smiled.

Alexander shrugged. "I do what I can."

"Although rumour has it you need to keep warm?" Dorian said, trying to coax out an explanation.

Alex chuckled softly and looked away. "Who says that?"

"Your sister."

"Ah," Alex shrugged. "She says a lot of things." He turned with a smile and went back to his shovelling as Dorian watched with interest.

"Why  _are_ you doing that?" he asked after watching Alex for a time.

Huffing a bit, Alex kept at his work. "I'm scraping off the snow so Annabelle can skate easier."

"So she can what?"

"Skate," Alex said. "With...ice skates? Ice skating? Is that not ringing any bells?"

Dorian frowned. "I know what it is, thank you," he said. "It's just such a quaint little practice, I never partook."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Of course you didn't." But before Dorian could retort Alex started laughing. "I can't imagine you on ice. Just then, when you almost slipped..." He drifted off into a chuckle.

"Yes, have your fill of it," Dorian said, crossing his arms.

"No, I'm sorry," Alex said. "It's just you carry yourself so well. Watching you slip or fall would be something to see."

"You wouldn't be laughing if I got hurt," Dorian said.

"Of course not," Alex agreed. "But you wouldn't. If you put a pair of skates on, I'd guide you."

Dorian uncrossed his arms and shook his head, looking off into the distance. "Well  _no_ _w_ that's never going to happen. I can never look less than you, I must always seem more."

"You do," Alexander said sweetly, and Dorian gave him a crooked grin. He watched Alex shovel for a bit, making conversation easily as if everything were perfectly normal. He didn't think this was a good time to tell Alex about his worries with Annabelle, nor did he think bringing up Alex's angry father was a good idea. And so instead they enjoyed the cold morning in each other's company, no threats and no immediate demands.

Margaret and Seth came down to the water at one point, eagerly ready to try the ice themselves. They almost immediately ran out to where Dorian and Alex had been walking and shovelling (Dorian walking, Alex shovelling), and Seth fell quite quickly. But he laughed it off, and they started telling Dorian how he should be dressed for the weather. They tried to coax him into skating with them when the time came, once Alex had finally made a good enough space for it, but Dorian regularly refused as kindly as he could, opting to sit with Layla and watch.

Alex guided Annabelle along on her skates, him in his boots, and Margaret and Seth spun circles around them both. It made Dorian smile to see it, being an only child. The joy in Alex's face was clear, regardless of previous tensions, and it made Dorian feel just as joyful.

"Annabelle missed him a great deal when he left with Tristan," Layla said as they sat on the bench near the fire.

"Yes, Alex said he was a favourite," Dorian nodded.

Layla smiled. "Of more than just Annabelle. Father made him go, did you know that?" she asked, looking at Dorian. "Only Tristan wanted to leave. He was so intent on becoming a Templar, even though he hadn't been trained. We have relatives in their ranks, you see. Or...had."

"I'm sorry about that loss," Dorian said as she paused. "It must have been a great blow."

"It was," Layla said. "We knew almost right away that Tristan had been lost, along with distant cousins and our uncle. But we didn't hear anything of Alex for a long while. My father hoped that Alex would join the Templars instead of Tristan, or that he could convince Tristan that it wasn't his place. I think my father also hoped that the Templars would turn him down. But Tristan was devout. He would have given himself to the Chantry in any form."

Dorian nodded. "For such a devout family, I was surprised to find an open mind in Alexander," he said as he watched his love cheer on Annabelle with vigour. "The way you say it, I'm surprised he stood for the mages in the end."

"I'm not," Layla said. "He has a weak spot for anyone who is downtrodden."

Dorian laughed. "That explains much."

Layla smirked. "You seem anything  _but_ downtrodden."

"Oh," Dorian mused. "I've had my moments."

"So has Alex," Layla said. "Which is why I'm glad he has you."

"Yes, you said," Dorian remembered, and he smiled at her with real sincerity. She blushed gently but smiled back wide, and they went back to commenting on the antics of the fools on the ice.

"Father was..." Layla started, but she paused a moment before going on, as if finding courage. "When we heard about it all, Father couldn't believe Alex hadn't sought the Templars aid."

"How could he have heard about that?" Dorian asked.

"Alex wrote me letters," Layla explained. "He told me about everything, I think. I didn't see the harm in reassuring my family. But Father...we still had family that could have been saved. Distant family, but he was so sure that Alex could have saved them."

"He saved many people," Dorian said. "And I know some Templars  _did_ join our cause."

Layla nodded. "Father never listened to reason. We lost most of our family members at the Conclave anyway."

Dorian gave a solemn nod. "I hope no one holds anything against Alex for his choices."

"No, of course not," Layla assured him. "Besides. It made for a very good story," she smirked.

Dorian laughed. "That it did."

The afternoon wore on and eventually, Margaret and Seth retreated back to the estate. Layla helped Annabelle remove her skates and Alex, then, decided it was his turn. Dorian stood over him as Alex tied his strange ice skates to his feet.

"They look unsafe," Dorian commented. The sun had come out brighter with the afternoon, and he'd taken off the scarf and given it to Annabelle.

Alexander laughed as he tied the skates tighter. "If you lack balance, they can be," he said, winking up at Dorian who simply scoffed. "It's been years since I did this," Alex went on excitedly. "I'll have to see if I can remember."

Dorian moved aside as Alex almost tiptoed past him on the ridiculous little blades, but the moment he hit the ice he was off like a shot. Dorian had to admit it was quite impressive. For such a big mass of muscle he was almost stream-line, crouching down a little ways and pressing his feet into the ice with strength and agility. He slicked across so quickly that he was almost to the middle of the small lake, and Dorian found himself chuckling.

"He was always the best skater," Layla said, holding Annabelle's little skates in her hands as she joined Dorian's interested watch. "Tristan was maybe a better fighter, at least when they were young, but Alexander was fast. Even with a massive blade, he was quick."

"I've seen it," Dorian chuckled. "My, does he ever look young," he said, only letting a tiny bit of annoyance seep into his tone.

Layla laughed. "I think he always will seem young."

"He's very happy to be here," Dorian told her. "You should have seen how old he looked when the world was ending. It's a relief to him I think, after so much trouble."

Layla shrugged. "We have trouble enough here to," she commented a little darkly. "But it's nothing like what you've experienced I'm sure."

"No, indeed, this is much worse," he winked, and she laughed.

Annabelle pulled at Dorian's sleeve, and he looked down at her. "Yes? May I help you?" he smiled.

She grinned. "Um, can we, can you tell me...more about  _your_ nightmares?"

Dorian blanched, and Layla looked on curiously as Dorian knelt to look into Annabelle's face. "Now, this isn't a good place to discuss those things, hm? We should have some fun here, yes?"

"Okay," she smiled, though she almost seemed disappointed.

"Good," Dorian said with a tense smile, but when he stood back up he heard the sound of a loud, booming crack. "What in the world was that?" he asked.

Alexander had stopped skating, and he looked behind him cautiously. "The ice shifting," he called out, waving away concern with his gloved hand. "The sun is warming it u--"

Another crack echoed in the little valley, but this time it was louder, and the sound of splashing water followed it. In an instant, the ice beneath Alexander's feet gave way, as if it had never been strong enough in the first place. Alex's foot went in first, and then the other, until he was nearly submerged in the freezing water. It happened so fast Annabelle didn't even have time to realize, but Layla cried out to Alex in terror.

She rushed to the edge of the frozen lake, but Dorian beat her to it. With reflexes sharpened from horrible, horrible trials, his hands flew out and built ice below Alexander, lifting him up out of the water and sealing the cracks all around. Even without a staff he was an expert, and he made a hardened path for himself on the ice so he could rush to Alex's side.

He slid to a stop and knelt down as Alex tried to sit up. He was drenched, and even his face and hair had taken a good amount of the cold water. "Are you alright?" Dorian asked in a rushed voice. His heart was hammering. Alex hadn't given him a scare like that in a while, and he helped Alex sit up a little higher.

"Shaken," Alex said, his eyes wide. "And wet, but..."

Layla had run across the ice as well, and she fell to Alexander's side. "We have to get him back up to the estate. To a fire!" She sounded strangely panicked, and Dorian looked between the two siblings as if he were missing something.

"I'm alright, Layla, please don't," Alex said. They helped him stand and he wobbled slightly.

"No, you have to get warm," Layla argued. "Don't start with me."

"What's this?" Dorian asked, looking between them.

"Nothing," Alex complained, and Layla finally gave up, though she was still determined to get him inside. 

"That was amazing, Dorian," Layla said after a brief silence, though she still held Alex tight as if he were going to fall over. "I've never seen...I've never seen anything like that."

Dorian shrugged it off, but he too was still slightly nervous. "All in a days panic," he said, and Alex smiled at him.

"Thank you," Alex breathed.

Dorian smiled at him. "You're too big for this ice," he joked, and Alex laughed a little more. Dorian turned to Layla. "Let's not have this spread though, shall we? Don't need father dearest hearing about the magic spilled here." Everyone nodded, and Dorian and Layla helped Alex turn and head back to shore.

And standing by the ice was Annabelle, eyes wide and jaw open.

"Oh shit," said Dorian.

Layla left them quickly and darted across the ice to grab Annabelle and pull her close. She crouched down and looked her little sister intensely in the eye. "Annabelle," she said softly. "We don't say anything about today."

Annabelle nodded, but her face seemed blank.

"Do you understand?" Layla was asking as Dorian reached the shore with Alex's arm over his shoulder. "That was a little trick Dorian played, mmhmm? It has to be our secret. You like secrets."

Annabelle smiled a little but she seemed confused still.

"Would anyone believe her if she said anything?" Dorian asked.

Layla stood up and sighed. "She has a wild imagination, so probably not, but...You  _are_ a mage."

Dorian nodded. "More believable when there really isa possibility." _  
_

"Exactly," Layla said. She cast Alex a nervous look. "Help him back up to the estate. I'll work with Annabelle and bring her up."

"Alright," Dorian said.

"And...get him to a fire," Layla added cautiously. It made Dorian frown, and when he looked back at Alex he saw something a little disheartening: a blank expression.


	6. Stories of an Invalid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not only was Dorian experiencing Alexander's family, but he was also learning more about the man he loved. And some facts he wished he'd been told sooner.

They sat at the fire in the large sitting room, quite alone and quite warm. Alex had removed all his special winter clothing, which was absolutely drenched, and absently thrown it down on the ground by the fire. Dorian threw an old dusty blanket over Alex's shoulders, and there they sat together in gentle silence. Dorian was purposefully close, and when no one seemed to be interrupting them, he leaned back on the sofa and put his arm around Alexander sweetly. Alex leaned into him gratefully.

"Eventful day for you," Dorian smirked at last. "Really, I don't see how defeating an ancient Darkspawn stands up against falling into the ice."

Alexander laughed. "It is quite a change," he agreed. "If my ignorant father and thin ice are all I have to worry about, I'll take it."

Dorian laughed. "I think  _I'm_ the one on thin ice with your father."

Alex rolled his eyes. "He's like that with everyone, don't feel special."

After a pause, Dorian looked down at Alex and tilted his head. "Do you want to tell me what it is about your dear papa?" he asked gently. "Obviously there must be some dark secret hidden away. Perhaps it would help to talk about it. Or perhaps to give me more warning."

Alex gave a breathy laugh, but it drifted off into a hesitance Dorian disliked. "He drinks," Alex said at last, looking up at Dorian as he fawned over him. "It used to be easier to control. He'd just get a little out of hand or over-talkative. As he got older, it got mean. I think it's a permanent effect now."

Dorian frowned. "I see why you dislike  _my_ drinking now," he grumbled, unamused.

"If you ever get as bad as my father, believe me, I'll tell you," Alex said bitterly. Dorian hugged him a little closer. "At least he's really all I have drama-wise in my family," Alex went on, staring at the fire and making Dorian bite his lips. "Everyone else is relatively normal, other than the odd habits here and there. And the constant Chantry nagging."

Dorian cleared his throat awkwardly. "I may have something to add to that repertoire, actually," he admitted with a grimace.

Alexander was already frowning. "Maker, what? What now?" he asked, sitting up.

Dorian leaned forward on his knees. "It's nothing _too_ serious. Though I suppose it might be serious to you. Well, it _could_ be serious."

"Dorian."

"I think Annabelle might be a mage."

Alexander's entire face went slack. His eyes, his lips, all of it. He looked completely frozen, as if all his movements had stopped like a broken clock. Dorian finally looked at him out of sheer concern for the silence. He breathed normally, but the quite literal nothingingness of his face was disturbing. Alex blinked after a long moment and his face seemed to spark to life again, only it seemed like he struggled to process what Dorian had said. "What?" he finally hissed.

Dorian frowned. "Sorry about that. It's not exactly something I can time properly. 'Quite right, wonderful dinner. Did you know your youngest sister dreams of demons?'"

"Dorian!"

He held his hands up in mock defence. "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But. She came to me this morning, telling me about nightmares she's been having. Now it  _could_ be nothing, but the way she described it sounded an awful lot like the dreams mages have. The ones where we need to avoid becoming a demon's escape plan."

Alex had his head in his hands. "And you're telling me this now? After the entire day?"

"Did you not hear my speech a moment ago about timing?" Dorian asked, and reaching out he put his hand on Alex's tense shoulder. He scooted a little closer. "It's not something I wanted to bog you down with, love. Not when you were having such...fun...Alex, you're shaking," Dorian realized.

Alex waved him away. "It's not about this, I've got a chill," he said passively.

Dorian blinked. "You have a what now?"

"A chill," Alex said. "It's fine, it happened all the time when I was young. I just...need to move closer to the fire." He stood up fast and took one step before wobbling and reaching out for some kind of help.

Dorian was up and at his side instantly. "Alex, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just need to warm up," he said, shaking his head and trying to stumble to a chair nearer the flame.

But Dorian didn't buy it. Seeing this hulking mass of muscle and positivity so down in the dumps had him quite concerned. And he was not a fan of being concerned. "There's a sheen of sweat on your forehead. You seem hot enough. What's...Is this why Layla seemed so worried over you?" Dorian wondered.

Alex was stern. "No, it's fine. She was over-reacting. She does that."

"With good reason," Dorian said, still holding Alex steady. He actually felt that, if he let Alex go, he may just topple over.

"I'm fine," Alex said again.

"You stand up and nearly faint on me," Dorian listed off, "and you're quivering like a leaf on a windy day. You are most certainly not fine. What is going on here?"

"I just need the warmth," Alex said, but his shivers raked his body harder, and Dorian didn't like it one bit. "I don't want a fuss."

Dorian held Alex's arm tightly. "Were you ill as a child?"

Alex cast him a glance, and for a moment Dorian figured he would fight him off again. But Alex finally sighed. "Yes, alright? I was. But I'm not now. I just need to get closer...to the fire." He seemed out of breath and dazed, and Dorian shook his head.

"No, bed is what you need to get closer to, come on," Dorian coaxed, grabbing Alex's arm and slinging it over his shoulder.

"No, stop," Alex complained, though he let Dorian lead him to the doorway.

"I admit I'm not exactly the image of a care-giver, but don't make this harder than it already is," Dorian said defiantly. 

"I'm fine. I promise," Alex said.

Dorian nodded but kept on walking. "Right of course. I'll make your excuses at dinner that you're so fine you have to stay in bed and be fine."

"I'm not leaving you alone," Alex said, pulling on Dorian's arm as if he could rechart this course they were on.

The anger and almost fear in Alex's voice made Dorian pause and look at Alex's pale face. He looked suddenly tired, and Dorian sighed. "You care so much about what _I_ will do," he said. "Can you care more about yourself at the moment? For me? If that makes it easier?"

Alex sighed and dropped his head.

"I can handle your family, I promise you that," Dorian smirked. "You, my dear boy, need to sleep off whatever this chill is. I won't have you sick or _dead_ on my watch. Josephine would never let me live it down." 

Alex gave a light chuckle and finally let himself be dragged to the stairs. A servant came along and offered assistance, and with he and Dorian together they got Alexander to his room. The servant helped him change, and Dorian stood watch, clearly concerned. The servant didn't ask, and Alex didn't complain, so once he was set to go Dorian helped tuck him in. The servant was dismissed, and Alex fell to sleep with surprising speed, so Dorian sat at his bedside until he needed to dress for dinner.

He'd looked down at Alexander laying in bed before, injured. It wasn't an image he liked to see, and illness was just about as concerning to him. Dorian hadn't ever really  _been_ concerned about anyone. There had never really been someone in his life he wanted to protect, keep safe and healthy and alive. He'd had more than his fair share of frights with Alex in the past few months. This was one he hadn't expected.

When Dorian finally pried himself away and got into the hall, a clearly nervous Layla was standing there wringing her hands. Dorian closed the door quietly and gave her a gentle nod. "He's sleeping."

"Is he cold?" Layla asked. "Warm? Does he have a fever?"

Dorian furrowed his brow. "He seems...tired. Hence the sleeping. I'm not the right person to ask about illness specifics, I rarely ever get ill. What is the underlying mystery here however?" Dorian wondered, watching as Layla sighed and looked down a moment. "Clearly there is more to this story than I've been told."

Layla sighed again. "I'm surprised you didn't see him get sick during...it all." She didn't know how else to refer to their stopping the end of the world, all the incredible things her brother and this man had done together. With help, obviously, but the stories just seemed like stories in the face of the real people.

Dorian shrugged. "He had the odd headache here and there. Multiple idiotic injuries. No illness. Why?"

Layla shrugged and dropped her hands at last. "He was ill as a child. Often."

"I gathered," Dorian said sadly. "And he said. He wasn't too keen on explaining though. Nor was he very excited about being fawned over."

She smiled at him a moment. "He was never a fan of people making a fuss. He'd run around coughing and sneezing as if everything was fine. When you tried to grab him to put him to bed or even wipe his nose he'd squirm away from you. But you keep him safe," she said. "That's clear to see. Just another reason to like you."

Dorian smiled back at her. "I'm on a roll with you I think," he said, slowly turning to walk to his room.

She walked along with him. "Did Alex really never tell you about all his illnesses?"

"Multiple illnesses? No," Dorian said. "He did mention always striving to be like his brother. My memory is also pulling at a time he told me he hated being the small one, the little one."

Layla nodded. "I suppose that is how he'd describe it. Back when it was only Tristan and Alex, Alex  _was_ the little one."

"Explains his need to be up here," Dorian said, holding a hand up high above his head.

Layla gave a little laugh. "But he's modest about it," she said, defending him. "He doesn't like applause, really. He likes small notice. All he ever wanted was to be noticed, even at all. But not as something broken or something needing help. Which I suppose explains why he didn't tell you about his past weaknesses."

"For someone who doesn't  _take_ help," Dorian mumbled, "he does like to give it."

She smiled. "Yes. More willing to handle other people's problems than his own."

Dorian nodded slowly as they reached his door. He could understand that, and Alex's dislike of weakness. How often did Dorian himself keep his mouth shut to his own issues? Or cover them up with jokes and sarcasm? Alex was the only one Dorian ever let see him in a vulnerable state, and he'd hoped it was vice versa. Usually it was, but everyone had their secrets. Everyone had their insecurities.

When Dorian turned at last to face Layla he saw her wringing her hands once more. He sighed. "Dear Layla, he will be fine," Dorian said, hoping himself that he was right. He reached out tentatively and put a hand on Layla's slim arm. She didn't flinch or back up as he maybe expected, but smiled softly. If not a little tensely.

"He almost died when he was younger," Layla breathed guiltily. 

That made Dorian drop his hand. "What?" he asked, tilting his head with his eyes narrowed.

She nodded. "I remember being confused about it all. We weren't allowed to see him, and our mother was regularly crying. I only realized something was seriously wrong when my father started yelling at the servants. He'd never done that before."

"I'd no idea it was that bad," Dorian said frowning. "He never showed any kind of sign of illness or fatigue even."

"He's susceptible to cold," Layla said. "If he's adequately warm it's usually fine. After that horrible illness when he was young, when it was...that bad...everyone said he grew more resilient to it. That's sort of when he started trying to match Tristan head-to-head, when he wasn't feeling tired or weak more often than not."

Dorian gave her a little curious grin. "You were his nurse weren't you?" he mused. "I can imagine you being more like a big sister than a little one. You probably picked him up when he skinned his knee, or gave him little pep talks in the night."

She smirked. "I was always more the big sister. But we gave the other what we needed. In him, I had a protector and a play mate, someone who shared almost every one of my interests. For him, I was his safe place." Dorian smiled, slow at first, but then a little wider. He could picture it. It was heartwarming. "But I've kept you long enough," Layla said. "Dinner will be soon and Maker forbid we're late. Or seen arriving together."

Dorian laughed and turned to his door. "Oh yes, what  _will_ Lillian think."

Layla laughed. "I knew you noticed!"

***

Dinner was an interesting affair, rather silent and uneventful in comparison to the night before. After Dorian made Alexander's excuses, everyone seemed to be a little down-hearted. It was sweet that they all missed Alex, even while he was upstairs, but it made the evening drag on a bit.

Dorian was most concerned with handling Howard Trevelyan, but the man seemed content to eat his meal and simply listen. There was less drama in his desires tonight it seemed, and Dorian was grateful.

Lady Loren spoke over the table to Tessa, and the younger ones were allowed to dine with their elders. Ariana tended to her little boy with more affection than Dorian would have anticipated. He'd hardly seen Ariana or her son, but looking on them now was rather refreshing. She doted on him with just enough love, and he was quite calm and respectful. Margaret and Seth too were uncharacteristically quiet, but it was amusing to see how the twins held themselves very individually, and yet oddly the same. For all their differences, Margaret and Seth still seemed quite fond of each other.

Annabelle kept her lips sealed, thank the Maker. She spent much of dinner attempting to keep her dark red hair out of her face, and asking Layla to help her cut things. It was rather cute in an annoying, disgusting way. Dorian found himself regularly staring, drink in hand, as Annabelle's fingers got stickier and stickier, and that just made her attempts at keeping her hair back worse. By the end of dinner she had bits of sauce on her forehead.

It was endearing, if not a little repulsive. Dorian never really was one for children.

After dinner, Lillian couldn't leave Dorian alone. She wanted to know what growing up in Tevinter was like, what attending a Circle instead of being forced into one was like, whether or not he would be a magister some day. It was exhausting, regardless of Dorian being more than inclined to talk about himself. No one else seemed to be all that interested in his person. In fact, the only other time the entire room paid any attention to him was when Dillon crawled casually into Dorian's lap and sat there, gleefully, as if he belonged. Dorian knew that if Alex had been present, he would have never stopped laughing.

Once the little boy was removed along with Annabelle, Dorian kindly excused himself as well. He claimed to be tired from the day, using the excuse that the cold got to him too which he hated, and only Layla cast him a knowing glance as he left. When he got to the stairs, a servant was just carrying up a tray of light food and some warm tea, which Dorian smirked at. He meandered to his room very slowly, watching as the servant came and went to Alex's room, before he darted back and slunk in silently.

The fire was lit, and a few candles burned for dim light on the little nightstands. Alex lay in bed, just stretching weakly and rolling over. The tray was on the small night table beside him, and Dorian closed the door and leaned against it casually. "There he is," Dorian cooed, making Alex look up. He still looked tired, but there was a warmth in his cheeks that made Dorian feel better. "The invalid rises."

Alex sighed but he smiled softly. "Shut up," he said through a groggy voice. Propping himself up a bit he noticed the tray. "Did you bring this?" he asked vaguely.

Dorian laughed. "Do I look like someone who would bring you dinner in bed?"

Alex looked him up and down. "It would be a nice gesture," he mused. "But no. You look very much the part of the noble." Dorian was dressed impeccably, keeping his lavish Tevinter style and charm. Luckily, it wasn't as gaudy as some of the pieces Alexander had seen, and he still managed to look phenomenal and probably better than anyone else downstairs. "How was it all?" Alex asked as he finally got into a seated position.

Dorian shrugged and walked towards the bed. "Calm, casual. Shockingly."

Alex pursed his lips. "Father?"

"Quiet," Dorian said. "For the most part.  _Shockingly_." 

Alex smirked. "And Annabelle?"

"Messy I'm afraid," Dorian smirked back. "But silent too. I think Layla gave her a good talking." Alexander chuckled and reached slowly, stiffly, for the cup of tea. He took a little sip and smiled to himself, and Dorian swore he could just have that little scene painted and framed. "So," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed gently and leaning towards Alex. "I hear you almost died as a child once. Interesting story to have not told me."

Immediately, Alexander groaned and rolled his eyes. "Don't talk to Layla, she exaggerates."

"And over reacts, apparently," Dorian teased, raising a wry brow and clearly not taking Alex's excuses. Alex looked a little guilty, and Dorian frowned softly. "Why didn't you tell me?" he finally asked.

Alex shrugged and sipped at his tea again a moment. Sometime in his sleep he'd taken off his shirt, and his skin was pale in the yellow candle-light. "It's not something I like to discuss. Besides, I've left that behind."

"To a certain degree," Dorian said. "What do you call this then?" He waved a hand at Alexander's general physical being.

"A minor set back," Alex grumbled.

"Minor?"

"I didn't get sick at all in Haven," Alex challenged. "And there was perhaps one time at Skyhold where I felt poorly. You're more worried about this than you were when I was injured."

Dorian raised a finger. "Not true. You just don't remember me being worried. Ask Leliana. She'll give you reports of my sleepless pacing."

Alex sighed and reached out with one hand, covering Dorian's as he leaned on the bed. With a very sincere voice, but a slight smile threatening his lips, Alex cooed, "I'm sorry you're such a worry-wart."

"Ugh," Dorian groaned as Alex laughed. "You're not allowed to use humour against me when I'm being sincere. It calls attention to what a softie I am for you."

"I like that you are," Alexander said, setting the tea down and trying to sit up a bit more. "What you did today...Dorian, it was impressive."

Dorian waved away Alex's thanks and looked across the room. "It's a reflex. It's the same reflex I would have reaching out to catch you if you tripped beside me."

"Still," said Alex, trying to will Dorian's eyes back to his. He blushed when Dorian finally looked. "Sometimes I forget you..."

"What?" Dorian asked as Alex paused.

He sighed and dropped his head as if he were ashamed. "Sometimes I forget how much you love me," Alex finished.

Dorian couldn't react well to that. He just...couldn't. It wasn't in him, and his immediate response was to say something stupid. Something that would diffuse the serious moment, because he so detested seriousness. He had his moments of course, where he just absolutely had to tell Alex how much he cared, but for the most part Dorian was the naughty one. It was what he was good at. And it wasn't so...vulnerable.

Dorian cleared his throat a bit awkwardly. "And me doing the morally right thing of saving you from drowning shows that?"

Alex scoffed and leaned forward to give Dorian a shove. "Why do I ever try and be sweet with you?" he mused.

Dorian smiled and scooted closer. He reached out and gently turned Alex's face back to his. "I think you expect my kind of answers nowadays," Dorian said, but he placed a very soft kiss on Alexander's forehead and pulled back with a sincere smile. "But please," he said quietly. "Don't forget how much I love you."

Alexander smiled almost comically as Dorian stared down upon him, and slowly he started to chuckle.

"What now?" Dorian asked displeased.

"You just pull it out when you need to, don't you?" Alex laughed. "You're little sweet charms. I swear you have one liners ready in your mind to use when you feel the need. You're such a sap!"

Dorian scoffed. "Really? It's alright for  _you_ to be all syrupy but the moment  _I_ am I'm a  _sap_? Prepared with sweet words just to knock you off your feet?"

Alexander laughed a little longer and Dorian rolled his eyes and got up as if to leave. "Oh come on, I was just kidding!" Alex chuckled, ending in a cough. 

"Well clearly you're feeling better," Dorian said, though the cough alerted him slightly. "Good enough to mock me at least, so I'll be taking my leave then, thank you. No need to worry about your well being if I'm going to be sassed."

"You sass me on a regular basis," Alexander argued. But before Dorian could retort he waved away his words. "Would you just lock the door and get in bed as you most likely planned to do?"

Dorian sighed and stood in the middle of the room, deflated, before putting his hands on his hips and staring at the wall. "Well now I'm conflicted," he said.

"Why?" Alex smirked.

"Because I want to be angry with you and storm off to win the fight," Dorian grinned. "But now how am I to say no to that invitation?"

"You're not," Alex said sweetly. "Besides. I'm not feeling perfect. I need you."

Dorian sighed deeper and rolled his head. "Right,  _now_ you've done it. With those puppy eyes and that...Actually, why  _aren't_ you wearing your clothes?"

"I got hot," Alex said with a shrug.

Dorian pursed his lips and looked at Alex, then the floor, then back to Alex. "Don't have a fever, do you?" he mumbled sheepishly.

"Look at you caring for me," Alex said, taking the bait Dorian hoped would be left alone. "For all I know you may very well have brought me this tray."

"I didn't, so stop making a fuss," Dorian said, starting to undress. Alex watched him remove all his fancy garb, which was admittedly a lot easier to get out of than his armour, and once Dorian was down to the bare minimum he locked the door and came to the bed. "Scoot over," he said, and Alex did his best. it was clear his body was aching from the chill it had gotten, and Dorian sat close to Alex as he gently ate the little meal that was brought to him.

"I'm glad you didn't die," Dorian said after a short silence had passed between them. He was laying down, and Alex was just finishing his tea.

Alex smirked. "As am I," he said, looking down at Dorian happily. "I would have hated to miss this."

Dorian smiled, but then frowned playfully. "I don't want to hear a word about this but," he began, "finish your bloody tea so I can hold you."

Alex laughed but it wasn't mocking. He did as he was told, eagerly, and blew out the candle beside him. Dorian blew out the one at the table nearest him as well, and the dim light from the fireplace was all they needed to find each other in the sheets. "You do feel warm," Dorian said as Alex snuggled against him, this time being the one to wrap his arm around Dorian's chest.

"I feel it," Alex said quietly, closing his eyes as he felt a wave of sleepiness return. "I'll feel better in the morning."

"You'd better," Dorian said, pulling him close. "Or else."

Alex gave a little chuckle as Dorian himself closed his eyes, leaning his head against Alex's. "This trip isn't going the way I wanted it to," Alex said softly, sadly.

"No," Dorian agreed. "But once we get back to Skyhold, you'll miss this. And you'll romanticize it all over again."

Alex chuckled once more, softly, and with a little sigh his body relaxed. "I love you," he breathed peacefully.

"Mm," Dorian hummed. "And I you. Now go to sleep. Tomorrow will be better."

 _I hope_ , Dorian thought.


	7. A Day in the Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little breather is just what everyone needed. A little bit of day to day.

Alex groaned and gave a little cough as he rolled over, wrapping his arm around Dorian's waist and sighing softly. Dorian matched the sound and snuggled himself a little closer, letting Alex spoon him gently, illness or no. Dorian would never get used to waking up this way, and he honestly hoped he wouldn't. It was always so pleasant, sharing that strange groggy state of mind with someone...with Alex. They could just be in each other's arms, still asleep enough not to care about the outside world but awake enough to feel the warmth of the other's body.

"How are you feeling?" Dorian mumbled against the pillow, eyes closed.

"Mm," Alex mumbled back. "Tired."

"Mm," Dorian agreed.

But before they could drift back into sleep, there was a knock on the door. "Alexander? It's your mother, love. How are you feeling?"

Alex sat bolt upright and stared at the door, wide eyed. Dorian simply rolled over and waited for whatever was to come, pulling the blanket back over his shoulder. "I'm feeling alright," Alex called, eyeing Dorian nervously. "But I...I'm not decent."

The sound of a hand being removed from the door handle could be heard, and Dorian raised a brow. "Oh," Tessa said from the other side. "Will you be down for breakfast? Or shall I send something up?"

"I'll come down," Alex decided, heart pounding. "Have...Have you checked on Dorian?" Alex asked tentatively.

Dorian shook his head at Alex and rolled his eyes.

Tessa audibly sighed. "No, I was actually thinking of sending someone to do just that."

"He's a late sleeper!" Alex called as Dorian put a hand to his forehead. "He'll be up on his own time."

"I imagine," Tessa said. "Shall I send someone up for you?"

"No, thank you, mother," Alex said. "I'm fine."

"Alright," she finished. "Come down soon, love." Dorian and Alex listened to her footsteps retreat before sighing.

"Why would you bring me up at all?" Dorian almost hissed.

"I didn't want her to go looking for you only to find you absent," Alex defended.

Dorian shrugged. "I could have been out walking or already awake down below. How would she know?"

"Mother knows all," Alex said, making Dorian smirk slightly.

"Well she doesn't know  _everything_ , clearly," Dorian said with a wink.

***

Alex noticed.

After a little good morning canoodling, Dorian and Alex parted ways to get dressed and try and act casual. By the time Alex made it downstairs for breakfast, everyone was seated at the table quite calmly. Alex's mother and Lady Loren were missing, along with Howard and Seth, but all the other children were gathered about. Ariana and Helena sat close together, speaking of this and that as Dillon picked at the food on his little plate. He sat on Ariana's lap and Alexander found it rather sweet. He never imagined his older sister being so motherly, yet there she was.

Helena faded into the background easier than Ariana did, which was an accomplishment. It was why Ariana and Helena were such close companions, especially when they were younger. They shared a quiet secrecy, a common shyness, that grouped them together out of pure survival instincts. Helena brushed her strawberry blond hair back behind her ears as she very softly cooed at Dillon, and the two women seemed perfectly content to be left just like that.

Layla had a book in her hand and she was absently nibbling on some berries as Margaret and Annabelle ran around each other playfully. Annabelle had a doll in her hand and she was apparently relaying all the silly things Margaret was telling her. As Alex walked by he gave Annabelle's red hair a ruffle.

And Alex noticed.

Sitting off from the little breakfast table, casually chatting on a sofa, were Dorian and Lillian. It was clear that Dorian was not nearly as interested in her as she was in him, and the look of utter adoration in her eyes as he spoke was almost nauseating. Alex stood by the table, reaching slowly for something to eat as he watched their discussion, and the moment Dorian made Lillian laugh he noticed something new...

Jealousy.

He knew what it was, of course. Alexander was sure that the feeling was something his mind could quite easily comprehend, and yet he'd never really felt it before. It was also outrageously unnecessary to feel this way, because honestly, what did it matter that Dorian and Lillian were talking to each other? Dorian would never do anything about Lillian's infatuation, and she would never be allowed to marry a Tevinter mage anyway.

But she put her hand on Dorian's arm as they spoke of something quietly, and Dorian gave her a clearly tight smile, and Alexander frowned. 

This shouldn't bother him as much as it did, and after a moment he walked over to the back of the sofa and plastered a false smile on his lips. "Good morning," he said loudly, making Lillian jump. Dorian was as calm as ever, casually looking away before turning around to smile up at Alex.

"And a good morning to you as well," Dorian said. "How was your sleep? Are you feeling better this morning?"

"You look well," Lillian said. "I do hope your illness doesn't linger."

"I feel fine, thank you, Lillian," Alex said, and he smiled at her brilliantly.

Which made Dorian narrow his eyes. "You should eat something," he said. "I imagine it would be a good step to take to battle an illness, though I'm not a healer."

Lillian's attention was right back on him. "You're not proficient at healing spells?"

Dorian shrugged. "No, but I--"

"Dorian isn't a healer," Alexander chuckled. "It was all I could do to have him be a little more on the defensive side, as opposed to offensive."

Dorian glared at him but Lillian was curious. "How do you mean?" she asked, her eyes back on Alex.

"Well in the battlefield, a mage can be very useful if used correctly," Alexander explained, coming around to sit on the arm of the sofa nearest her. He was to her right, and Dorian was to her left, and she was sandwiched in the middle like an awkward accessory.

"Are you suggesting we are tools?" Dorian asked after a subtle roll of his eyes.

Alex shrugged. "If you'd like to use that word. But then everyone in battle is a tool of sorts, like a chess game." Lillian smiled wide at him. She loved chess, and Alex of course knew that. "A mage can be a devastating force of power, either to attack or defend. We had more than enough attack power on our side, which is why it was so difficult to have Dorian use a bit of his skill for protection. He's very stubborn."

Dorian took a sip from a tea cup he had been resting on his crossed knee. "It's much more dull, being in the background, only using your extraordinary talent in small ways."

"Yes, he'd much rather show off," Alexander joked.

Lillian giggled and Dorian cast Alex a 'who do you think you are' glance before she turned back around. "I'd be absolutely captivated to see you in action," Lillian said to Dorian as he put a quick smile on his lips.

"Well sadly," he said. "I doubt you'll have the chance. I'm trying to behave myself whilst here."

She smiled. "I'm sure you have a hard time behaving yourself usually."

Dorian chuckled, and it was his dark, alluring chuckle. Alexander fumed. "I'm not exactly known as a nice man," Dorian purred as he reached an arm over the back of the sofa. Alex reached for Dorian's hand and gave it a quick pinch.

"Lillian," Alex said, drawing her eyes back again as Dorian retracted his hand and swore at Alex noiselessly. "It has been so long since I've seen you and I must say you're looking well."

She blushed, a little taken aback by the sudden compliment. "I...thank you, Alex," Lillian said. "I confess I've actually been a little more lax with my routine."

"You've a natural grace," Alex said kindly. "You needn't worry so much about bells and whistles."

"Yes, only Alex is the one who has to be concerned about appearances," Dorian said chidingly.

"You mean because of his status?" Lillian assumed, looking back and forth between them.

Dorian shrugged. "Sure. That's why."

Alex sighed and glared at Dorian as he raised a brow back.

Lillian cleared her throat. "I...was supposed to wake mother around this time," she said standing. Both Dorian and Alex stood as well. "She needs a bit of extra rest nowadays. But I'm sure she'd like to join us for something to eat. Excuse me, please."

"Of course," Alex said, bowing slightly as she scooted past him.

"I enjoyed our talk," Dorian said as she made her way to the door. She cast him one last smile, and then another grin for Alex, before disappearing around the corner.

Leaving two idiots standing there.

Alex reached out and slapped Dorian's arm. "Ow!" Dorian mock complained in a whispered tone.

"What is wrong with you?" Alex hissed. "I told you to stay away from her."

"We were having a conversation!" Dorian snapped. "I wasn't aware that I was banned from talking."

"Maybe you should be," said Alex, "as everything from your lips is a flirtation."

Dorian scoffed. "And what about you?" he challenged. "The moment the attention isn't on you, you have to turn the tables."

"I do not!"

"What was that?" Dorian asked, waving a hand out as if gesturing to the moment before. "You say  _I'm_ a flirt."

"I was just trying to keep her eyes off of  _you,"_ Alex said. "She's encouragable."

"And you're not?"

Alex frowned. "Shut up."

"Shut up?" Dorian repeated, and as he stared at Alex he began to realize, and an amused little grin appeared on his face. "Was somebody jealous?"

Alexander scoffed and rolled his eyes, looking away.

"You were!" Dorian almost squealed. "By the Maker, you were jealous!"

"Why would I be jealous of Lillian?" Alexander asked. "What would you possibly do with her? Give her fashion advice?"

"Oh really, Alex, you get nasty when you're jealous," Dorian teased.

"I'm not jealous!"

_"Ahem."_

Dorian and Alexander turned to see Layla standing behind the sofa, staring at them with a half-eaten apple in one hand and her book in the other. "Are you two quite finished?" she asked. "I've been enjoying the show, but if you get any louder everyone  _else_ will watch too."

Alex cleared his throat and Dorian straightened his jacket. Alex blushed. "We were just discussing-"

"Mmm, I know what you were discussing," Layla interrupted wryly. She looked like she was trying not to laugh. "But I thought I'd break it up before drama ensued. And besides, neither of you have had anything to eat yet so I thought I'd recommend feeding yourselves. That way you'll have more energy for flirting."

"No, we were't flirting..." Alex said.

"That's not exactly what was going on..." Dorian said at the same time.

But Layla just nodded and bit into her apple. "Mhmm," she mused over their excuses, walking away and casting them a glance over her shoulder.

Alexander sighed and rubbed at his forehead while Dorian stared at the side of his face. "You know," Dorian started, "I really wasn't flirting with Lillian."

"Knock it off," Alex said.

"I'm being sincere," Dorian retorted softly. "I wasn't. I wouldn't. I only started because  _you_ did. You know I'm not good with competition."

Alexander chuckled and shook his head. "Are we complete idiots?" he asked.

"You are," Dorian smirked, making Alex sigh. "And I am too. A little bit."

"Poor Lillian," Alex said.

"She's tougher than you imagine," Dorian told him, and for a sneaky moment he reached for Alex's hand and came closer. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I know," Alex said. "I...got carried away. Jealousy is new to me."

Dorian grinned and paused a moment, staring at Alex. "So you  _were_ jealous."

Alex ripped his hand away. " _Ugh!_ "

***

Dorian and Alex were sitting at the breakfast table when Lady Loren and Tessa came down. There was still no sign of Howard, but Seth appeared at one point quietly, getting himself a plate with ease and investigating Layla's book. It was a nice, quiet morning, only day three of the trip, and Dorian and Alex were pleased to have some gentle conversation. 

Dorian was sad to say that, without Howard Trevelyan preasant, he felt more at ease. Not just for himself, but for Alex. It was clear to see the poor man was still slightly ill, but Dorian never wanted to see that fear and strain on Alex's gentle face again. The look he got when his father was around, or when he and Tessa fought...Dorian hated it. He hated it a  _lot_ , and if he could he'd never have Howard in the same room as Alex again.

But he was still Alex's father. It was bound to happen.

The morning went off without a hitch, and as the servants came in to clear the dishes away, everyone migrated slowly to the sitting room. The weather wasn't nearly as nice as everyone wanted it to be, and so today seemed to be frowned upon for skating or outdoor activity at all. Books were brought out, and Dorian actually found a willing debater in Tessa, who shocked him by being an avid reader. Seth and Margaret soon intervened, however, stealing their mother's attention and asking her kindly to read aloud. It actually made Dorian feel all warm and fuzzy.

As he sat leaning comfortably back on a sofa, he watched as Layla kindly excused herself and left the room. What really caught Dorian's eye, however, was the fact that Alex watched her go with a wry little smirk. It looked far too mischievous for Alex, and Dorian kept a good eye on him for the next little while. When Alex got up and left silently as well, Dorian pursed his lips and mused over this little intrigue. There was quite clearly some spying going on.

Taking his time, Dorian finally excused himself as well, and just as he got into the main hall Alex appeared with a smile. "Do you want to see something interesting?" he smirked knowingly, as if holding back a chuckle.

Dorian raised a brow. "Don't I always?"

Alex gave a smile. "Get your coat."

They traipsed out through a back door of the estate into wilderness that hadn't been perfectly managed. In the front of the grand mansion, everything was done up to look welcoming and noble, but in the back the trees still grew wildly and the snow was untouched. Except for a pair of small footprints Dorian and Alex now walked over. 

Dorian didn't like snow or cold, but he did like the little grin he could spy on Alex's face as they made their way up a small hill. "What exactly is happening?" Dorian asked in a whisper he felt was called for.

Alex put a finger to his lips and winked, crouching down a ways as they reached the top and motioning for Dorian to do the same. Dorian did no such thing, but as Alex got down and Dorian stood above him, Alex pointed into a little clearing in the distance. There, standing in the snow with her hair tied haphazardly ontop of her head, stood Layla. With a bow in her hand. Dorian grinned and Alex shared the smile, and they watched as Layla readied an arrow and let it fly with speed and accuracy at a clearly shot up tree trunk.

"She's a good shot," Dorian whispered. "Might give Sera a challenge."

"Or Varric," Alex said back. "I'd love to see what Layla could do with Bianca."

Dorian chuckled. No matter how much Varric liked Alex,  _that_ was never going to happen.

Alex chuckled to himself quietly as Layla readied another arrow, clearly aiming for a tree further away than Dorian imagined she'd hit. But there was determination in her eyes, and a stiff jaw that reminded Dorian of someone he knew very well. In fact, it made him smirk and look down at--

Alex was standing, and Dorian stared at him with a raised brow as he knew  _exactly_ what his plan was. Layla raised the bow, drawing back with a deep breath and steadying her body as she aimed.

"LAYLA!"

She let it loose, and the arrow went flying off into the snow with a hiss, darting through a bush before striking absolutely nothing. She spun, terrified at first, and then angry. Alex was chuckling as he made his way down the hill.

"I had that shot," Layla said, almost cursing. "What is... _Why_  do you have to be like that?"

Alex smiled and reached for her, giving her a half hug. "I couldn't resist," he said. "But in all honestly, Layla, I'm glad you're still practicing." She blushed pleasantly as Dorian came and stopped by Alex's side.

"I was telling your wicked brother what a marvellous shot you are," Dorian said kindly.

Layla gave a shrug but there was some pride in her eyes. "I have a better range back home. Sometimes I even hunt and tell Father the servants got the venison from town or captured it themselves."

"Your father's not much of a hunter himself?" Dorian wondered.

Layla looked away. "Well. Not much anymore."

Alex dropped his arm from her shoulders and looked into the distance at the tree Layla clearly destroyed. "Are some of these marks ones from when we were young?" Alex mused, walking over to the tree and letting his fingers run across the holes.

Dorian saw Layla's grin. "Some of them. The deeper ones are the new ones. I've been practicing for strength as opposed to distance."

"Why?" Alex asked, looking back over his shoulder at her.

Layla blushed again. "I'd rather be in the thick of the fight than high above it."

Dorian laughed. "Maker, there's _two_ of you."

Layla chuckled as Alex walked back over, and as he stopped before them he coughed and sniffled. Layla glared at him. "Why are you out here anyway?" she asked. "You should be inside where it's warm."

"I'm well dressed," Alex complained.

"Don't start at him on his health," Dorian said, looking at Alex wryly. "I've discovered sympathy or pity over Alex is often frowned upon."

Alex gave Dorian an unimpressed stare but Layla giggled. "Yes, Alex takes the family motto a little too seriously. To the point where any fuss made over him is bad."

"Someone should tell him modesty doesn't mean denying help," Dorian said, smirking with Layla as Alex pouted.

Alexander crossed his arms over his chest. "And is this the great Dorian Pavus talking? Sounds an awful lot like the pot is calling the kettle black."

Dorian raised a brow. "Alright, yes. We can't tease Alex, poor thing."

"He used to be better at taking jokes," Layla said.

"I'm still fine with it, thank you," Alex said. "I dislike double standards. You know Dorian got sick once during it all?"

"Excuse me, but lyrium sickness is not the same as a cold," Dorian snapped playfully.

Layla put a hand to her chest. "Maker, that sounds serious," she said.

"Oh he was fine," Alexander soothed.

"I could have died," Dorian said with mock seriousness, frowning at Alex. "And I seem to recall a certain someone being  _very_ concerned."

"Alright yes fine," Alexander sighed. "So your grouchy, cold attitude then is not going to be held against you? It's perfectly alright to make fun of me, but when it comes to  _you-?"_

"Alright, alright," Dorian cooed. "We'll stop."

"My goodness, you two really are a pair," Layla laughed, and she watched with an odd satisfaction as Dorian and Alex gave each other a sweet little look. But then Alex sneezed and Layla sighed. "Take him back inside would you?" she told Dorian, getting a little grunt of disapproval from Alex. She rolled her eyes and turned to him. "Go show Dorian the library. I imagine he's an avid reader."

"You've a library?" Dorian asked, perking up.

Alexander cracked a smile. "Layla sees right through  _you_."

***

It was the largest room of the estate. That wasn't exactly saying much for the small family getaway, regardless of their noble rank, but the dozens of floor to ceiling bookshelves that lined the walls and made little hallways gave the room an enormous feel. One could get lost in the shelves, Dorian felt, and he liked that maze feeling more than the little circular balcony back in Skyhold.

The bright smile that hit Dorian's face as they came in made Alex give a crooked grin. "Do you like it?" Alex asked softly.

"Ooooh, you shouldn't have brought me here," Dorian purred with a clear tone of excitement in his voice. He stepped into the room and took a deep breath. "Aah.  _That_ is what a library should smell like. Can you smell the scent of thousands of pages, just waiting for your touch? Waiting to unravel all their secrets just to you."

Alexander chuckled. "Maker have mercy on me, I've unleashed the bookworm."

Dorian turned to face Alex with a grin. "Joke all you want, Amatus. You adore me."

Alex snapped his fingers and sighed. "Damn, you're right."

Dorian chuckled and walked forward, wrapping his arms around Alex's waist and pulling him close. "You know, I think you're funnier when the world isn't in peril."

"Imagine that," Alex said with a soft little laugh.

"I like it," Dorian said, pushing his forehead against Alex's and eliciting another soft chuckle. "You'd never think I'd find humour attractive. I'd be attracted to myself then."

"Aren't you?" Alex said, pulling back and raising a wry brow. Dorian reached down and cupped Alex's backside, making Alex give a little gasp and a laugh.

"Alex? Is that you love?" 

They jumped away from each other and cleared their throats, fixed their hair, whatever little second nature routine came to their fingers. They'd gotten used to hiding, at least to a certain degree, back at Skyhold. They weren't ashamed, and there was definitely less risk  _there_ , but it wasn't appropriate for the Inquisitor to be seen in such a fashion. They often had to quickly take their hands off each other, even though it was always hard to stop.

Alex walked past Dorian towards the big window behind a few shelves. He smoothed his hair down just out of habit, and came into view of his mother, Lady Loren, and Helena sitting quietly in an almost circle. He cleared his throat. "Hello, Mother. Lady Loren. Helena."

Dorian walked into view confidently, but he faltered slightly at the sight. With his usual flash of charm, however, he recovered. "Ladies," Dorian said with a little bow. "I apologize for the interruption. I'm quite a great fan of books and I'd no idea you had such a lovely collection."

Tessa smiled. "It's nothing compared to our library at home," she explained, going back to the small volume in her slim fingers.

Dorian looked at Alex and Alex cast him a momentary glance. "Well. Perhaps someday we'll have to let Dorian peruse our collections," Alex said bravely.

Tessa looked up and opened her mouth, but whatever she was going to say faded away on her lips. Whatever she was going to say was replaced by a gentle smile, a sincere smile. "Indeed," she said kindly, looking first at Dorian and then at her son. "I'm sure that would be lovely."

Dorian smiled and looked at Alex as he beamed. Lady Loren and Helana looked at each other and then away, with Loren giving a little smirk, and Alex looked down at his feet.

"We'll try not to disturb you too much," Dorian said, breaking the silence. "I hope my wonder won't intrude on your peace."

The ladies gave a little polite laugh and Dorian and Alex meandered away, wandering the shelves here and there. Alex enjoyed watching Dorian run his fingers across the spines, stopping suddenly every now and then to excitedly grab at a tome. Large ones, small ones, even books that Dorian had to hold on his hip partially in order to open. It was adorable to Alex, which was a rare occurrence. If anyone was adorable, it always seemed to be Alex. Dorian was always suave or adoring, alluring or sincere. Alexander was the got-his-cheeks-pinched, always being cooed over, adorable one.

Even with a massive maul on his shoulder and pounds of armour on his body, Alex was the cute one.

"You know," Alex whispered as they paused between shelves yet again. "This may be the most excited I've seen you in a long time."

Dorian chuckled. "Your Chantry based family has more books on arcana than the Skyhold library."

Alex scoffed. "It's not that they care," he explained. "They're just determined to have a better stocked library than other noble houses. Even at their getaway."

Dorian looked up with a sudden spark in his eye. His head leaned back and he gave a little groan. "I can only  _imagine_ what your library at home is like now."

Alexander laughed and stepped forward. "Don't moan like that, you great idiot," he whispered. He cast a glance in the direction of his mother and the others. "People will think we're doing something untoward, when it reality you're just an absolute git."

Dorian slammed the book in his hand shut and slid it back into it's place on the shelf. "We can't all be passionate about bashing people with big hammers," he said. But then a sly smile hit his lips and he slid his hands around Alexander's waist. "Better yet, why don't we make  _you_ moan like that."

Alexander's cheeks went bright red, and his crystal blue eyes went wide. "Dorian," he whispered, his tone warning but his voice shaking.

Dorian grinned and spun Alex around, pushing him against the tall shelf. It didn't even shake. "It's good practice for staying silent," he whispered, running his hands down Alex's arms before gripping his wrists.

Alex took a sharp breath. "Dorian, no," he said softly as Dorian pressed his body against Alex's. Alex was smiling lightly despite himself, and he could feel his heart fluttering. Not to mention other parts of his body going against his better judgement.

"Shh," Dorian said, catching Alex's mouth somewhat off guard and giving him a wild kiss. He nibbled at Alex's lower lip with a little hum of satisfaction.

Alex swallowed hard. "What brought this on?" he breathed, unable to fight against the urge to grab at Dorian anyway he could.

Dorian gave a shrug. "Maybe the books, maybe the lighting. Maybe your humour."

"Maybe you're aroused by literature," Alex purred.

Dorian chuckled and grabbed Alex closer, pressing their hips together and nibbling at Alex's sharp jawline. "Are you complaining?  _Amatus?"_

Alex gave a sigh and leaned his head back, letting it brush the spines of whatever books were behind him. He closed his eyes, relishing in the words on Dorian's lips, but also melting at every touch. But he blinked and shook his head. "Wait, wait, Dorian.  _Dorian_ , my mother is steps away," he breathed.

Dorian kissed him hard. "So be quiet," he said, reaching down and fiddling with the belt on Alex's trousers.

Alex grabbed his hands. "No no, no, stop, stop," he said, but he was smiling. Damn him, he was smiling. 

Dorian was grinning as well, and he kissed Alex over and over to muffle his half-hearted pleas. In the next instant, he had his hand down Alex's trousers and Alex gasped. He felt alluringly rebellious, and he actually chuckled as Dorian gripped him.

"Shh," Dorian almost hissed, but he was still smiling wryly, and as he kissed his way down Alex's neck he kept going lower and lower. Until he was on his knees.

Alex was bright red by now, and his head was still back against the bookshelf. He could feel his pulse vibrating in his head, and he felt a little dizzy. This was insane! He knew it was insane, and yet here he was, letting Dorian pull his trousers down further and...

"No, Dorian, not  _here_!" Alex whispered sharply. He could feel a coolish breeze touch his hot skin, and looking down at Dorian on his knees like that was  _painful_. 

Dorian grinned up at him, holding Alex hostage with his fingers. He tilted his head to the side. "Your lips say no, but...the rest of you says yes I think," he said playfully, bending his head and placing a teasing kiss on the tip of Alex's length.

Alex gave a little, muffled grunt and he reached out instantly to put his fingers in Dorian's hair. But he shook his head. "This is absolutely crazy," Alex breathed, but Dorian just gave a dark chuckle. He was about to go on uninterrupted when...

"Alexander? Alexander!" Tessa called in the slight distance.

Dorian stood up and pulled back fast. "Look out, it's the guard," he mumbled jokingly as he slapped Alex's terrified hands away and re-did the man's trousers. Luckily, no one seemed to be coming (in more ways than one) and after Alex tried to compose himself he stepped out from around the bookcase and faced his mother, leaving Dorian to lean rakishly in the shadows with a wide sly grin.


	8. Familial Pressures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter what easiness Alexander and Dorian experienced on their visit, there would always be something. They were starting to see that now. And they were starting to see just what the something was...

The rest of the day was incredibly uneventful, which was rather comforting.

A small luncheon was put out for everyone at the estate, and they all came and went from the large dining room as they pleased. Dorian and Alex spent most of their time sitting there, talking to one another or to whomever joined them, and Alex regularly scolded the very-pleased-with-himself Dorian on his library etiquette. Not that Alex could really complain all that much. As Dorian put it, "How could he be angry with someone so willing to please him?"

Eventually Alex and Dorian made their way back to the library, at Dorian's behest, and they sat at the now vacant divans perfectly alone. The sun had come out, even though the day was still frigid, and the large bay window in the library poured sunlight down on them gently. Alex laid his head in Dorian's lap, still feeling the effects from his mishap the day before, and Dorian read aloud to him softly. It was something they did often back at Skyhold, even before the war was won and the main battle was over. It soothed Alex, who could never find time to relax, and Dorian liked the quiet company. He was also a wonderful story teller, but Alex would never admit it to anyone else that he adored Dorian reading poetry.

So this is what they did until they were told to dress for dinner.

The meal was pleasant, and the chit chat was a little less tense than it had been the past two days. The talk was more of idle passions or gossiping affairs now, with less interest in all the insanity that had been Alex's life. Dorian hoped that everyone had gotten that out of their system by now, and it was nice to see the family talking with one another in what seemed to be the norm.

Alexander adopted his role of big brother once again, being stuck between Seth and Margaret and mediating their playfulness. He spoke very sweetly to his mother and father, and Layla was obviously very happy to have Alex as a buffer. However, Alex wasn't exactly pleased to be back in his parent's noble sights...

"So I imagine you met many Orlesian nobles in your travels, Alexander," Tessa said as dessert was brought in.

Alex finished taking a sip from his glass and gave a vague nod. "Yes indeed. More than I would like," he joked, making Margaret snicker and Layla look down with a grin.

Tessa cast a look at Howard and they shared a glance, and Dorian immediately felt a warning go off in his head.

Howard cleared his throat. "You've a good title now," he said, leaning on his elbow and looking at his son. "And a noble birthright still behind you."

Alex blinked, oblivious. "I'm aware."

"Was there no one interested?" Tessa asked gently, poking at the little cake on her plate. "I can't imagine you would be so easily looked over in Orlais, given your name."

"Most people were a little too distracted by the Inquisition," Alexander said stiffly, the tone of his voice finally hinting that he saw what his parents were up to.

Layla cleared her throat. "Not to mention the possible end of the world," she said, reaching for her wine glass and taking a tentative sip. She eyed her father at the end of the table a little nervously, and Dorian felt his own throat start drying.

But Howard gave a little chuckle. "I'm sure now that everything is settled, there will be endless betrothals investigated."

Alexander choked lightly on the food in his mouth, and he covered his face with his napkin. Dorian watched Alex give Layla a glance across the table, and Layla gave a small shake of her head.

So Dorian braved the conversation. "I feel as if there won't be many women in Thedas who are eager to join their life to that of the Inquisition," Dorian said with a smile. He tried to play it off as a joke, and he was grateful for Lillian and Lady Loren's laugh. "After all, that's unfortunately what Alexander is."

"Is he, now," Howard seemed to grumble, reaching for his glass and taking a deep swig. It made Dorian uncomfortable, which said a lot, and the moment he looked at Alex he could see the displeasure there as well. Dorian gave Alex a little shrug before resuming his own dessert.

"Was there perhaps someone from the Inquisition you were interested in?" Tessa asked after a silence had passed.

"What?" Alexander asked, dropping his fork and grimacing as it clanged against his plate.

Dorian kept his head down.

"It's just that I heard rumours that there was a member of Nevarran Royalty amongst your command," Tessa said with a gentle smile.

Alex let out a stiff breath. "Cassandra is...She's not as high ranked as you're thinking. And she has no interest in noble affairs, really."

"She's more inclined to hitting things with sticks," Dorian put in, making Margaret laugh again. But Howard was glaring at Dorian, and when he realized the wide grin on Dorian's face twisted down into a small smirk.

"No matter," Howard grumbled. "I'm sure we'll find someone suitable in time."

"I'm not looking for a wife, father," Alex said stiffly, sternly. He was staring at his plate with his shoulders back. The room grew a little silent, the sounds of eating dying off in the place of awkward stillness.

At last, Lady Loren chuckled. "My goodness, Howard, you are hard on your boy," she said, her voice laced with drink. "Let the poor child eat. He's saved the world! Surely you can put the pressures of a good marriage on him another day. You should enjoy his presence!"

"I am very proud of my son," Howard said, enunciating each word as if to drive the point home. His steely eyes bored holes into Lady Loren's, but she merely shrugged and continued her meal. Alex looked down the table as his father glared at their guest, but when Howard met Alex's eye that pride wasn't clear. Instead, all Alex saw was a determined resolve to have Alex do as Howard wanted.

Howard cleared his throat a little and went back to his plate. "I'm very proud of all my children," he said, and he cast the table a tight-lipped smile that made Dorian frown. He glanced at Alex and saw the way he avoided any and all eye contact. It hurt.

"We should have a little talent show after dinner," Layla cheered suddenly. Dorian had a feeling she would have said anything to end the tense silence. How often was this table an anxiety inducing mess, he wondered...

"What do you mean, love?" Tessa asked with a small smile.

"Well everyone around this table is quite accomplished," Layla went on, smiling at Lady Loren and her daughters. "Perhaps a little entertainment would be nice after we finish eating. Just a little bit of fun."

Seth threw his hand up in the air. "I've been practicing a new part of the Chant of Light!"

Tessa smiled at him and Lady Loren chuckled behind her cup.

"Oh!" Margaret said. "And I can juggle!"

"Margaret," Tessa sighed.

"That sounds splendid," Dorian encouraged, raising his glass to her as she sat across from him. "I should be delighted to see it." The young girl beamed at him, but Dorian didn't see the way Tessa smiled as well.

"Then it's settled!" Lady Loren called from the end of the table. "A little merriment is always a welcome distraction."

Dorian watched Alex give a barely there smile, and if he could nudge his lover's foot under the table he would have. All Dorian could do was give Alex a comforting smile. What a softie he was for the red-head...

***

Ariana took a moment to put Dillon to bed as the rest of the party gathered in the sitting room. Annabelle was wide awake and giggly, and she was permitted to stay as long as she sat by Alex and tried to remain proper. Margaret and Seth were eager to show off their skills, although Tessa still begged Margaret to do anything but juggle, and Seth started the festivities with a surprisingly lengthy passage of the Chant. Even the not-so-religious Dorian could admit that it took devotion and intelligence to remember such a long speech.

Before Margaret could get up, Lady Loren suggested Lillian sing a song for everyone. "She has quite the voice," Lady Loren said proudly as Lillian got awkwardly up and stood by the fireplace. Even in the dim light, it was clear to see her fair skin in a blush, and when she looked around nervously Alex felt obliged to give her an encouraging smile.

Lillian did have a lovely voice. It was lower than Dorian expected, as she spoke with such a high and gentle tone. But her singing was rich and warm, deep, and it brought a genuine smile to his lips. Once she sang her song, everyone applauded and she gave a little curtsy before sitting back down quickly.

"Beautiful, Lillian," Tessa said sweetly, smiling with a motherly devotion even for her friend's daughter.

A servant brought Howard a cup of wine, making Alex stiffen slightly, but he seemed jovial at least. "Layla, dear, why don't you grace us with a song?" he suggested, taking a long sip and eying his girl over the cup.

Layla rolled her eyes but Alex, managing to enjoy the moment, started to cheer forcibly and nudge Layla where she sat. Dorian chuckled, and at last Layla stood to cheers. Her voice was more expected, a slightly unsure, beautiful tone that rung through the high ceilings. The notes she could hit were incredible, and her lower range was impressive as well. She didn't exactly put Lillian to shame, but merely showcased another vocal type that, if they sang together, would warm even the coldest hearts.

Layla's acceptance of applause was a little more grateful as she gave a proper curtsy and sat calmly back down. "Well done, sister," Alex whispered to her as the clapping faded.

She grabbed his hand with a clearly malicious intent. "Alex!" she said loudly. "Why don't you sing for us?"

Tessa and Lady Loren immediately agreed, and Alex tried to yank his hand free from Layla's grasp. "You just want to show everyone how much better you are," Alex teased, and after some casual bickering, it was decided that Helena should be next.

A lute was brought down and Helena sat on a small stool by the fire. Her fingers plucked the strings tentatively at first, but soon she blossomed into a soft melody. Everyone in the room, Dorian realized, was greatly talented at something. Even when Margaret finally stood up to show off her juggling trick, she was remarkably good for being so young, even managing to stand on one foot while she tossed three little balls in the air. It was a light hearted, jovial event, and the laughter that filled the old estate seemed to warm the stone walls.

Tessa looked across at Alex as Margaret's applause died down. "Alexander, love. Why don't you recite us one of your poems?"

Alex's jaw hung loose.

"I'm sorry, what?" Dorian immediately inquired.

"Nothing," Alex snapped. He sighed. "My mother is under the impression that I'm a poet."

"You are," Tessa said, turning to Dorian. "When he was younger, he wrote some lovely verses."

"I wrote dribble," Alex mused with a laugh at his expense. "And only for a few short months. It was a passing fancy. And it has not continued, regardless of what you think, Mother."

Tessa frowned. "Oh I'm sure some of your old work is still about somewhere," she mused, looking around as if already thinking of where she'd hidden his crumpled parchments.

"I wanna go!" Annabelle called out suddenly. "I have a trick!"

"Do you now?" Lady Loren mused. "I bet it's simply marvellous."

Dorian and Alex shot each other the world's most panicked glance.

Alex grabbed the lute from the small table in the middle of the group. "Dorian plays wonderfully," he said in a rush, holding the instrument out to Dorian who gave a very displeased look. Annabelle gave a momentary pout before deciding that more music would be welcome.

Dorian cleared his throat. "You overexagerate my talents," he said stiffly. "Not that I complain about the praise..."

Lillian chuckled and clasped her hands together. "Come now, we're all friends here," she said gently. "I would love to hear you play."

Alex was grinning, both from the success of his plan and at the prospect of Dorian playing. After a rather silent pause, Dorian sighed and took the lute from Alex's hand, much to the excitement of his two fans. "I am absolutely not as gifted as Helena," he said, bowing his head to the woman as she sat by the fire. "And do not expect me to sing," he added, earning a laugh. He fiddled with the lute easily, gracefully, casting Alex an aggravated look every now and then.

When Dorian began his chosen melody, Layla smiled and sat up straighter. "I know that piece," she said. "It's a Chantry song."

Dorian beamed at her. "By all means, sing along then," he suggested. "Don't let all the attention be on me now."

"Not that you'd complain," Alex joked, making another round of giggles go through the room.

Dorian smirked but restarted his song, and just when she needed to, Layla let her voice ring in with the lute and sang along. It was an absolutely lovely combination, a sound so elegant and peaceful that it made Tessa close her eyes and bask in it. Lady Loren bobbed her head with the slow beat, and everyone seemed enthralled by their duet. Dorian  _was_ a good player, regardless of his objections, and all his jokingly hidden nerves vanished as his fingers worked over the strings. He was so concentrated, and yet so calm, and Alex couldn't keep his dreamy eyes off the man.

It was hard to look away from Dorian on a regular basis, but whenever he showed off his skills, of any kind, Alexander melted. He leaned his elbow on the edge of the sofa, then leaned on his hand in a dazed sort of expression. He was mere inches away from sighing dreamily as he watched Dorian play, head bent, eyes soft.

The song was nearly finished, but before the last few notes could be played, and before Layla could trill out the last melody, Howard put his cup down on the table. "Alexander," he said in a suddenly warning tone.

The music stopped abruptly, and Alex's gentle smile faded the instant he looked at his father, fear running through his veins. "Father?"

"Your sister is singing," Howard said sternly, gesturing at Layla, who did not want to be part of this.

The whole room seemed confused and cautious, and all the tension that had dissipated quickly returned. "Yes," Alex agreed. "I know she is, Father."

"You should pay her some respect and watch her," Howard said icily, and immediately Alex knew what he meant. 

So did Dorian. It made him angrier than he'd been yet.

Tessa gave a small sigh. "Howard," she breathed.

The fire crackled, and the creaking sound of Dorian putting the lute down felt like the final straw.

"I'm sorry, Father," Alex said, ashamed and embarrassed and desperately trying not to blush. "I was...I suppose I was lost in the music."

"Hm," Howard huffed, clearly unimpressed by his son's reasoning.

Alex's chest hurt, but it somehow felt empty all in the same time. He couldn't breathe, and yet he was breathing too fast. The silence that filled the room made his skin hot, but his blood cold, and there was no set of eyes he felt safe to look at.

"Well I think it's time the little one's were off to bed now," Lady Loren said loudly, as if nothing in the world was ever awkward to her. She stood, and Dorian and Alex stood out of respect. Seth followed with a start, but Howard remained as he was. "Tessa, why don't you and I take them up and settle them down, hm?"

Tessa stood, clearly grateful, and gave a nod. "Indeed," she said. "Come now, children, time for bed."

Not one of them complained.

As Tessa passed Alex, who stood with his head down, she patted him on the chest. "I was having the servants draw you a bath, dear," she said sweetly, shakily. "It should be ready shortly. I thought a nice warm soak would do you the world of good."

"Thank you, Mother," Alex said quietly, his voice hoarse with emotions he wouldn't show.

Dorian took a steady breath in and watched in agony as Tessa tried to smile for her son. She cast her eyes to Dorian on her way out of the room, and he gave her a little nod of respect. She smiled back at him, sadly, but with friendship.

The moment Tessa was out of the room, Howard was up and walking out without so much as a 'good night', leaving the four young women alone with the two men. Arianne and Helena bid their good night next, followed solemnly by Lillian, who was confused and upset by the night's sudden end. 

When it was only Alex, Dorian, and Layla left, the silence was intense. Layla looked between Dorian and her brother, carefully keep her breath normal and her face mostly blank. Her pale eyes were full of sympathy, and when she caught Dorian's gaze he gave her a little frown. He watched Alex, waiting for something, anything, to happen as the fire died down.

Alex stared solemnly at the floor, embarrassed and humiliated and terrified to look at anyone. His eyes very slowly, glacially, shifted around the room as if searching for bravery. When he finally dared to look at Dorian, the sudden emotion his eyes caused made Alex turn instantly away. "I'm going to bed," Alex said abruptly, heading for the doorway with a surprisingly stiff gait. 

"Alex," Layla sighed, stepping forward, but Dorian caught her arm.

"Let him go," he said as Alex didn't even falter. Dorian sighed and released Layla's arm, and the two of them stood awkwardly together watching Alex disappear up the stairs.

Layla sighed again. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"You've no need to apologize," Dorian said with his usual wry tone. "I'm sadly used to this kind of attitude. Alex, on the other hand...this is all new to him. I've been through this before," Dorian said, looking down at Layla and seeing that sad sympathy in her eyes once more.

"Well I'm sorry for that too," she said sweetly. "Father's always been...well not  _always_...it's gotten worse." She paused for a moment, fidgeting with her fingers and letting her head hang. "Sometimes I like to think that, only a few years ago, he would have accepted Alex however he was." Layla looked up at Dorian sincerely. "He would have welcomed you gladly."

Dorian raised a brow before looking away from her, through the archway where Alex had recently vanished. He took a long, slow, deep breath in. "Layla?" Dorian began, feeling her head snap up to look at him without meeting her gaze. When he finally did, he had to hesitate again before speaking. "Do you think I should leave?"

Layla's face immediately turned to stone. "No," she said bluntly, giving her head a soft shake. "If anything, you should never leave his side."

Dorian gave a soft grin, and in that moment, his heart decided Layla was _his_ sister too.


	9. Hide And Seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You can only play a game for so long. Eventually, someone will end up in tears."

Alexander laid his head back against the big tub, relishing in the warm water as he rested by the fireplace. He could remember a heavy, marble thing from his youth, but here at the smaller estate it was a simple yet massive copper basin. It kept the water hot, and Alex ran his wet hands through his hair and over his face whenever he felt the threat of a chill. A large blanket waited on a stool by the fire for him, and the servants knew not to disturb him until they were called to take the tub away.

And so Alex took deep breath after deep breath, listening to the fireplace crackle, listening to the sound of distant footsteps, and praying not to hear loud voices.

When his door creaked, Alex sat up a ways in the tub, letting the water splash against the sides softly. He craned his head around to see who was coming in behind him, anticipating a servant or perhaps his mother, but he should have known. Losing whatever polite, inquiring expression Alex had plastered on his face, his eyes went blank and his brows lowered into nothingness. He turned back around as Dorian closed the door.

"I'm very good at handling my problems, am I not?" Alex mused rather bitterly. He wasn't sure if he was speaking to himself or to Dorian, but the words just came. 

"In all honesty, walking away from a problem can sometimes be a good fix," Dorian said, very slowly meandering forward. Even his disembodied voice made Alex's shoulders less tense, and he leaned his head back again and closed his eyes with a sigh.

"But I always walk away from my problems," Alex said.

Dorian snorted softly. "This coming from a man who effectively stopped the apocalypse."

Alex turned and looked at Dorian as he sat on the edge of the bed. "But that was not  _my_ problem?"

Dorian cocked his head. "Was it not? You had the magic hand, after all."

Alex sighed and shook his head, letting his arms come up and rest on the edges of the tub. He stared across at the closed window and the darkness outside. "But it didn't  _feel_ like my problem." He waited, listening to Dorian breathe, wondering if he was going to challenge Alex's feelings. But he didn't. So Alexander just spoke.

"It was everyone's problem," he went on. "The responsibility placed on me didn't feel so difficult because I  _knew_ it wasn't just my issue. There was so much more at stake, and I wasn't alone, and it's so much easier to help others than it is to help myself. When I was little, I had help. Even though she was younger, Layla spoke for me so many times. She knew what I wanted before I had to work up the nerve to ask someone. She was the prominent voice at the table when I tried to explain my disinterest in the Chantry. Even Tristan...Even he helped solve my problems. He would tell the blacksmith if my sword was too heavy or too dull. He would eat the vegetables I didn't like and give me the ones I did from his plate.

"I didn't even have many problems. Every issue I had to deal with was minor until it was too late, until I was old enough to think any of my issues would either sort themselves out in the background, or be easily ignored. I distract myself with other people's problems so I don't have to handle my own. I'm so much better at other people's vulnerability."

Dorian intervened. "You have a big heart," he said. "That's not necessarily something to be ashamed of."

"But when this happens because of it?" Alex snapped, spinning his head around to look at Dorian with such a painful expression.

"None of this is your fault," Dorian explained. "No one can say you've ever done something to cause another person distress. At least not on purpose. There's no malicious bone in your body, Alex. And you've one of the most open minds I've ever come across. You could have turned out entirely different in this situation, and yet you didn't."

Alex stared into the water as it rippled over his pale legs. "But I am different," he said miserably.

Dorian shrugged. "No one is normal, Alex," he said.

A small silence dragged on. Alex stared across at the wall and gave a deep sigh as Dorian watched, waiting. There was so much he wanted to say, and most of it was angry swearing, but he could see a kind of distress in Alex's eyes that let him know the younger man had to think about this himself. Whatever Alex said, there had been many times Dorian witnessed him in a kind of trance, analyzing and thinking over any kind of problem he was faced with. Alex was adept at handling problems, but it was easier when the emotional attachment to the issue was second-hand. He helped Dorian with his family matters, he helped Cole find peace within himself...He'd even handled the whole Blackwall nonsense with a kind of pristine ease.

But when it came out that Alexander was not saved by Andraste, Dorian could remember how utterly inconsolable the poor man had been. When Alex had thought Dorian was less invested in their relationship than he was, Alex had spent hours laying alone almost paralyzed in the garden. Dorian could admit that Alex suffered when it came to his own emotions, only because he was so used to being happy. And when he wasn't, it was like a punch to the gut.

As the silence went on, Dorian grew impatient. He stood up and walked towards the little stool by the fire. Pushing the blanket off onto the floor, he pushed the stool so that it sat behind Alex's head. He rolled up his sleeves and perched there quite easily, happily. "Lay your head back," he told Alex softly, and the red-head did as he was told. Dorian started to gently and slowly scoop up handfuls of water and let them pour down Alex's shoulders, down his neck, and into his hair. It was something to do for Dorian, who disliked idleness of any variety, and it was something to keep Alex calm and soothed. It was relaxing for the both of them, especially in the aftermath of a shock.

"I didn't think he knew," Alex at last whispered in a melancholy defeat.

Dorian slowed in his movements for a moment before continuing his makeshift pampering. "Do you think your father knew already?" Dorian asked. "Or do you think he does now?" 

"If he doesn't," Alex mused, "he's at least suspicious. I'm not exactly subtle."

"Nor am I, really," Dorian said with a slight smirk. He was pleased to note Alex's lips curve just slightly upward. 

But then Alex's brows furrowed, even as his eyes were closed in peacefulness. "How did you tell your family?" he wondered aloud.

Dorian sighed. "Well it wasn't exactly planned. I had hoped to spend a few more years pretending, working up the nerve to tell my strict and usually distant father that his only son would be the last Pavus. But I've told you the story, somewhat. I wouldn't marry the girl. The truth had to come out. You can only play a game for so long. Eventually, someone will end up in tears."

"I don't think it was a game," Alex said. "It just...never came up."

Dorian chuckled softly as he let another handful of water cascade down Alex's neck. "It's not exactly a common topic. It never came up in my house either, but look at what keeping it hidden did for me."

Alex frowned and opened his eyes, leaning his head back far so he could look at Dorian upside down. "Do you think lying will just make it worse?"

"You know me," Dorian said, tilting his head to the side. "I dislike lies. Unless they are absolutely necessary."

"And is this not one of those times?" Alex wondered.

Dorian shrugged and they went back to their little calming routine. "I think at some point you need to be honest with the rest of your family. But I'm not saying now. You don't even have to tell them in person. In fact, I'd much rather you write a letter and send it from the safety of Skyhold then be face-to-face with your father."

Alex managed a soft chuckle. "I think maybe it would be easier to put in writing," he agreed. "But I'd be in a constant state of nerves until I got a reply. And even then I'd fear reading the thing."

"You may be surprised," Dorian said. "Without you here to fan the flames, the letter may fall on more rational ears."

Alex scoffed. "That  _would_ be a surprise." He paused a moment as Dorian ran his hands through Alex's wet hair dreamily. "Do you know what I'm more surprised by, actually?" Alex smirked.

"What?" Dorian asked.

"The fact that you can play Chantry songs," Alex said, leaning his head back again so he could give Dorian a wry glance.

Dorian grinned. "I am a man of many talents."

Alex chuckled softly, and with one damp hand he reached up and pulled Dorian down for a sweet and slightly awkward kiss. "I love you," Alex said sincerely.

Dorian gave him another small kiss before pulling back with a smile. "I know."

Alex groaned and splashed some bath water at Dorian, earning a deep throaty chuckle.

***

Dorian was hopeful that the morning would be another fresh start, that the Trevelyan family would continue their routine of playing pretend. But they didn't. And even with Howard's usual morning absence, breakfast was a quiet, dreamy-eyed affair.

Alexander was so mortified that he had to be coaxed downstairs by Dorian and Layla. And Seth, who didn't quite understand, but loved his brother.

It seemed to Dorian that almost everyone was in Seth's boat. Once they finally got Alex to come down for breakfast, it was instantly clear that the entire household had a million questions. The gazes that were usually either excited, indifferent, or amorous were not distant and nervous, and the silence that seemed to reign over the little dining hall was uncomfortable. Dorian made a point of sitting beside Alex all the same. It was the first time they'd sat this close to each other around the family, and naturally it earned a few little glances, but Dorian knew Alex's bright cheeks were grateful as opposed to embarrassed.

Ariana and Helena were absent along with Howard, which worried Dorian for a moment. He hoped that Alex's sister was open minded enough to not snub her little brother, and Helena's character seemed too soft-hearted in general to be cruel. Annabelle too was absent, along with Dillon, and eventually Dorian just assumed the two women were monitoring the younger ones somewhere in the house. But he didn't ask. He was uncharacteristically silent, just like the rest of them.

"Why is everyone so grumpy?" Margaret spat as the quiet droned on too long. Alex looked up with a barely there smile as Margaret leaned her elbows on the table and pouted. "Maker, this is boring," she groaned.

Seth looked at his mother in shock as his sister swore.

"Margaret," Tessa scolded softly. "We don't use that kind of language."

Lady Loren chuckled. "I think dear Margaret has her mother's old spirit."

Tessa smiled. "Don't give her any ideas, Loren."

But Margaret was grinning. "Was Mother fun once?" she asked, shooting a wicked glance at her dear mama.

"I daresay, your mother was quite different when she was your age," Lady Loren said as if it were the most scandalous secret in all of Thedas. "And even a little older."

"Loren, really," Tessa sighed, reaching for her glass so she could hide behind it.

"You know I'm right!" Lady Loren argued. She turned slightly in her seat. "Alex, you remember when your mother had a bit more energy to her step, don't you? A little more lax in her judgements?"

Alex looked up with wide eyes, and Dorian just waited. He watched the red-head look around at the faces at the table that had suddenly turned easy, calm, and happy. It was a soft joy this morning, but it was an accepting one. Alex smiled at last. "She used to cheer me on in the courtyard when I practiced," he recalled pleasantly, smiling down the table at his mother. "She would have made a good warrior in another life."

Tessa beamed.

"She'd have something to do with that stubbornness," Layla added in enthusiastically. "Someone would knock her down and it would only spur her on to win."

Everyone chuckled, and Margaret squealed with joy at the idea of her matronly mother being a wild young woman, and the morning drifted by full of stories and memories that made the people at the table feel like a real family. A loving family. An accepting family. The younger children appeared as the morning went on, and the busy hum of the household started up again with squeals and laughter and shrieks that echoed off the walls. Everyone's happy energy slowly started to return, and the ice that had formed over Alex's usually chipper countenance cracked and crumbled away to a sweet, grateful joy.

"That could have gone a lot worse," Dorian said as he and Alex walked through the trees behind the estate. Layla was running ahead with Dillon and the twins, with Arianna looking on from a small open meadow.

Alex nodded, but his sigh still bore traces of stress. "If my father had been there, it would have been worse," he said.

"Forget him," Dorian said softly.

"He's my father," said Alex, looking at Dorian as if this fact was a burden.

Dorian pursed his lips. He knew this feeling. "But he is one negative member of an entire family that just proved they love you," Dorian explained. "No matter what."

"We can't be sure that they know anything," Alex said, looking at his feet as they crunched along the path. "They just know something was wrong last night, and that I was the problem."

"The young ones may be confused," Dorian said. "But...I think it's safe to say...the proverbial cat is out of the bag, Alex."

Alex sighed again.

"It could be worse," Dorian said, risking their slight privacy to put his hand on Alex's arm. "You should have seen the scandal I caused. There was a ball. It was a mess."

Alex laughed. "At least I don't make as much of a scene as you," he agreed.

Dorian grinned. "There's the face I was after. I like it when you're happy. It's very painfully adorable."

" _You're_ painfully adorable," Alex said.

They smiled at each other a little longer before Layla was dragged into their presence. Margaret and Seth each held one of Layla's hands, and they pulled her along the path until they came to stop before Dorian and Alex. "They want to play hide and seek," Layla said, a little out of breath. Her fair hair was a mess of fly aways and disorder. She pulled off the look. "I convinced them to at least go inside," she said.

Dorian smirked, but Alex seemed excited. "There's less places to hide here, though," Alex said. "It's so much better at home."

"We'll make do!" Seth cheered. "Please please  _please_! Alex, you have to play!"

"Him too!" Margaret demanded, pointing with her free hand at Dorian.

Alex turned and grinned at Dorian so wide that you would almost think this had been Alex's idea. And Dorian looked very unimpressed. "You cannot be serious."

***

A good amount of bodies decided to join in the activity; all the fun people, as Margaret deemed them. Layla, Lillian, Seth and Margaret, and Annabelle. They'd decided Dorian would be "it", if just to spit his lack of enthusiasm. The vote was unanimous, and Dorian immediately began to complain. "If you don't do it," Alex warned as everyone scattered, "you'll be forever known as the no fun Tevinter Mage. You'll be giving your people a bad name."

"They don't need hide and seek for that," Dorian had scoffed. But Alex told him to close his eyes and start to count. At least to 60, to give everyone enough time. So Dorian crossed his arms and leaned against a wall in the hallway, eyes closed, face disgruntled, and (to spit those who had angered him) began counting in Tevene. Alex laughed and left the pretty picture of Dorian rakishly lounging against the wall, narrowly missing slamming into Seth as he tried to find a good place to hide.

The children used to always play hide and seek, sometimes without the game actually being a factor. At their home, their larger estate, the game could go on for hours. People would get caught, of course, but the really good hiders would never stay in one place. They'd find opportunities to move around, sneak past others, or even right behind the searcher. Layla was naturally the best, almost always being the last woman standing, but Ariana had talent as well. She was frightfully silent sometimes.

Tristan lost regularly, or he was "it". And Alex was known as the master hider, always finding the most incredible places to wait out the game. It would be more difficult now that he was massive. As a boy, he was the small brother, the perpetually skinny son who couldn't seem to keep weight on. Which made it easy to squeeze into cupboards or chests or underneath beds.

But he could surely fit under a bed still. Especially Layla's, which he noticed, as he walked by her open door, had a bed skirt. Alex grinned and pushed the door aside a little more, ducking in as he heard Dorian yell out an unenthusiastic warning call. He left the door ajar and looked across at Layla's bed. She always claimed this room when they came here; it faced over the lake.

Alex headed towards the bed and threw himself on the floor, sliding underneath it with surprising ease, and staring at the little bit of the door he could see. He'd be able to make out Dorian's ankles if the man got close.

Hiding under the bed, Alex felt young again. The kind of fun he could have with the Inquisition was never like this. It was adult, mature, weighed down by pressures. And even though Alex had his fair share of pressure here at home, he felt so strangely free. He was regressing, but in the sweetest way possible.

Alex waited with a perpetual smile on his lips, and he was just turning his head to adjust his chin when he saw it.

Ice.

It seemed to snake across the floor very gently, looking almost like damp patches on the stone, but the little cracks Alex could see suggested otherwise. As did the way it wound up from the ground and spread across the closed doors of a wardrobe. Alex poked his head out from under the bed, following the trail with wide eyes and a slack jaw. He pulled himself from his hiding place and stood up, staring down at the ice once more before analyzing the sheet that was very slowly spreading across the wardrobe doors. It was thin, not exactly daunting, but it was there...

And as Alex took a tentative step forward, he heard a giggle from inside the massive thing.

Suddenly, every one of Alex's issues faded away, and all he felt was fear and sadness for someone else.

He dashed into the hallway, which felt quiet and tense as the hide and seek game went on around his inner panic.

Hands in his hair, he just stood there a moment trying to think, trying to process. Then he turned and headed down the hall to the last place he left Dorian.

But the mage rounded the corner lazily and almost collided with Alex. "What are you doing?" he hissed with a smirk, the playful game finally seeping past his grouchiness. "I'm supposed to find  _you_. I don't think you follow this game well."

"Come with me," Alex said desperately. He grabbed Dorian's hand and dragged him down the hallway.

"What are we doing?" Dorian whispered. Alex thought he could hear a sultry chuckle starting in the other man's throat, but it would soon stop short. He knew that.

Alex pushed Layla's door aside slightly and just gestured to the wardrobe and the ice below it. Dorian followed Alex's hand with a confused face that quickly went blank, and then went white. The giggle erupted from within again, and Dorian sighed. "Oh..."

Alex's hands went back to his hair. "What do we...I don't even know what we  _do_ now?" he breathed.

Dorian held a hand up to calm Alex's panic, stepping into the room a little ways and leaving Alex by the door. "Just let me," Dorian suggested. He approached the giggling wardrobe, and as he got closer, the ice spread further. Dorian hadn't felt himself shaking in a long time. He wasn't afraid, he was guilty. 

Would she ever have been able to do this of she hadn't seen Dorian?

And he was sad. Sad for her and for the inevitable treatment that would follow, especially in the South. He pitied the difficult nights that were ahead of her, the training, the confusion. Where would she go now that the Circles were all but disbanded? Depending on whatever happened next, they may never exist again. It was an issue Alex had never thought about, that Dorian too hadn't considered; what happened to the new mages? The young ones with no experience, no guidance, no understanding of what they were and what they could do? What happened to them?

Dorian knocked very politely on the wardrobe door. "Annabelle," he said. "I do believe I've found you."

A pause. And then, "I can't get out," she said.

Alex sighed and slumped against the door frame.

Dorian frowned and gave Alex a pitying glance before going back to the girl in the wardrobe. "It's not too thick," he told her. "You can make it stop, Annabelle. You can make it melt."

"Just break it," Alex hissed. "Melt it yourself."

"She needs to learn eventually," Dorian hissed back. They were both nervous, stressed, tired, and it showed. Alex took a steadying breath and Dorian watched him. "Encourage her," he mouthed to Alex.

Alex shook his head for a brief moment, but then looked into the empty hall. He sighed again. "Annabelle," he started. "Come on, you're caught. Come...Come help us find the others."

The ice cracked, and Dorian grinned. "Yes!" he cooed. "You can be my assistant. My apprentice."

Alex frowned, but the ice cracked again, and soon it crumbled off the wardrobe and hit the floor. The doors flung open, and Annabelle scooted her way out of the wardrobe with a grin. "I know where Margaret likes to hide!" she cheered, dropping down to the ground and ignoring the chunks of ice as they crunched under her shoes.

 


	10. Outed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armed with new, distressing knowledge, Dorian and Alexander knew they had a duty, an obligation. But their somewhat icy reception by the Trevelyans was proving daunting, and both Dorian and Alex had far too many cuts on their feet from walking on eggshells. It was time to come out with it.
> 
> (SLIGHT TW: FAMILY DISPUTE/VIOLENCE)

"This could not be any worse." Alex had been pacing the entire time since a very tense dinner ended in drifting attentions. Most people found their way to privacy after the meal, favouring being alone over being around such nervous companions. Alex and Dorian were part of the escapees.

Dorian sat on the edge of Alex's bed, looking perfectly put together as always, only with a slight flop to his hair that leaned close to messy. "It couldn't be any worse because your sister is a mage?" he asked a little icily.

Alex spun. "Of course not!" he snapped. "You know that's not what I mean."

"What  _do_ you mean then?" Dorian asked.

"Because of all of this!" hissed Alex. "All of it. This entire  _trip_! It couldn't be any worse, could it? This couldn't have gone any worse! My mother was near crying during the silence that was dinner, father wasn't even present, Arianna looked ready to get up and leave and Layla was angrier than I'd ever seen her! The only person that seemed genuinely at ease was Annabelle!"

"Good for her then," Dorian said. "We should keep her as calm and quiet as we can. No need to ruin the poor girl's life."

"We already have to do that," Alex sighed, full of sorrow. He was pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes closed, and he finally stopped walking. "I ruined, singlehandedly, any chance for her."

Dorian's brows lowered. "Because of the mages?" he asked. Alex sighed, and there was his answer. Dorian stood. "Alexander," he scolded, reaching out and taking the younger man by the shoulders. "What you gave the mages of the south was a gift, a  _right_ , that they deserved. For however negative my country may come across with magic, I can promise you, it's much better having our problems out in the open over tucked behind stone walls."

"The College won't take her," Alex sighed. "I can almost promise they won't."

"Then she'll find a teacher," Dorian said. "Or your family will. Mages are free. Offer one a home and food and protection? They'll line up at your door. I bet you could find a former First Enchanter eagerly willing to teach Annabelle all she needs to know."

Alex sighed again, bending his head to press it into Dorian's shoulder. "A disaster," he kept grumbling.

Dorian petted the man's head soothingly. "We need to tell them," he said after a short silence.

Alex groaned.

"I know," Dorian said. "But we must." He pulled back and lifted Alex's chin. "I'll be there, for moral support. And rational thought."

But Dorian's smile couldn't bring one to Alex's lips. "If it wasn't about us," Alex said, "it was going to be about something."

"What do you mean?" Dorian asked.

Alex took a deep breath. "My father was bound to explode over something. We were never going to avoid a fight."

***

They decided to take the day.

The weather was fine, bright and cool, and regardless of any past tensions everyone was once again in an easy mood at breakfast. Howard was not present, much to many people's relief, and Dorian and Alex attempted to keep their heads focused on the mirth everyone was engulfed in. They ran through the day on very little sleep, with a pit of anxiety and dread in their guts. Dorian managed to keep his head much better than Alex, trying to be the rock he knew Alex needed him to be.

They found a way to keep Annabelle with them at the very least, out of fear and curiosity. While the day boasted a warm sun, the ice had snap-frozen during the night and was reported to be much safer than last time. Layla skated absently back and forth with Margaret, who struggled only slightly, while Seth walked along the snowy beach finding rocks and twigs for the fire. Arianna came with her little boy, watching him play about in the snow, and Alex created a kind of barrier for Dorian and Annabelle.

Dorian pulled the small girl aside to lay down some initial ground rules. They'd both agreed it was a necessary measure, at least for now, to make sure she understood the severity of her situation. Alex didn't want to scare the poor child, and Dorian promised him he'd be eloquent, and he was. Annabelle was very ready to accept the fact that she was going to be a mage. In fact, it rather pleased her. "Like you," she'd cheered when Dorian told her. He'd smiled, but it was clear he'd been a bad example on her. Still, and he would never admit it out loud, it was shockingly flattering to have a little face look at him with such admiration.

Annabelle was perfectly innocent and oblivious. While she understood everything Dorian told her, she was incapable of realizing what this meant in the grand scheme of things. She was incredibly young for what she had already accomplished, and the fact that she was exhibiting any kind of magic at all was rather impressive to Dorian, but she didn't understand yet. Which made it easy for her. She wondered if she was going to go to the Circle, which Dorian was surprised at. Naturally she couldn't really know that the Circles had fallen, but he was more impressed that she even knew what those were. He told her that she would most likely never be locked away in a tower, and while she seemed occupied with poking at the snow, she seemed glad to hear it.

Alex watched the two of them talk as the sounds of his siblings laughter echoed in the distance. It was unnerving, and it was hard for him to act as though nothing was weighing him down. Naturally, the only time Alex and Dorian were truly in a bad mood, everyone was jovial. The irony was not lost on them, and as they struggled through the rest of the day they would share painful glances while their lips smiled false grins.

They'd come to no solid conclusion last night. All they could agree upon was that the family needed to know, that it would be easier to tell Tessa and Howard alone, and that they should explain after dinner. 

Howard was at the head of the table for the meal, starting off quiet and morose before the wine made him a bit more approachable. But only to an odd obnoxious degree. The tension that Alex and Dorian had unwittingly created at the little talent show the other night was finally fading from people's memory, and things seemed to go back to near normal. Only Alex and Dorian knew it would never last, and when the time came for the majority of people to go off to bed, Alex and Dorian hovered in the archway.

Dorian took a deep breath, encouraging Alex to follow his example, and he patted Alex's chest. "We must," he said.

Alex nodded. His whole body felt weak.

Tessa and Howard were sitting near the fire in the main sitting room, Tessa occupying a large chair while Howard stood by the mantle. A cup in his hand. They looked up with small smiles when Alex entered, and only Dorian seemed to note how displeased Howard looked when he stepped in behind.

"Mother, Father," Alex started, hands clasped nervously together in front of him. "I was hoping to speak to you both a moment."

Howard turned and raised a dark brow, but Tessa shifted forward in her seat. "Alexander, dear, perhaps now would not be the best time," she said softly.

Alex's face turned bright right, and Dorian could somehow feel how fast Alex's heart beat. "It doesn't pertain to me," Alex explained.

Tessa's face turned confused, and she tilted her head after casting her husband a cautious glance. "What's the matter then?" she asked.

"Is someone hurt?" Howard wondered. How distant his eyes looked, Dorian noted, as if only part of him was present.

"No one is hurt," Alex said. The room was so quiet and still, tense, and the fire cracked as Alex tried to find where his abundance of courage went. He looked down, then back up, then away...

Dorian stepped forward. "Alex," he breathed.

Alex inhaled sharp. "We need to discuss Annabelle," he said at last.

"Whatever for?" Tessa asked.

"We believe...We _know..._ " Alex gritted his teeth. "Mother...Annabelle is a mage."

Silence, dead and heavy and gut wrenching. And brief.

"I beg your pardon?" Howard snapped, putting his cup down on the mantle and turning.

Tessa's eyes were wide and confused. "What are you saying, Alex?"

It all came fearfully fast. "Annabelle is exhibiting signs of magic," Alex explained. "Nightmares that are far too realistic, that she remembers vividly, and...other examples that we cannot ignore or wait to see more of."

"This is ridiculous," Howard said sharply, shaking his head and looking down at Tessa. She had a hand over her mouth. "This is nonsense!"  

"Father, please," Alex started.

"No!" Howard shouted, making Dorian edge a bit more forward. "This is absolutely...! Tessa, this is preposterous. This cannot be true. The Trevelyan's do not have magic in the family!"

Alex frowned. "Somewhere along the line we must have," he said. "Records would show it, Father. We have Tevinter ties."

"Not everyone there is a mage," Howard said sharply. "Only the degenerates." He eyed Dorian, and Dorian at long last let his face show his true hatred for the Bann. "Did he put this thought in your mind?" Howard said, pointing sharply at Dorian. _  
_

"Howard please!" Tessa said, her voice much louder than Dorian had ever heard before. She dropped her hand and shook her head, gripping the arm of her chair and looking at Alex. Howard huffed and paced before the fire. "How can you know this?" she asked.

Alex opened his mouth to respond, but his attention was occupied by his father's angry pacing.

Dorian spoke up. "She's spoken to me about dreams she's had," he said, Tessa's sad, watery eyes meeting his. "They suggest a strong connection to the Fade. And Alex and I have both now witnessed her casting."

"Casting?!" Howard shouted. 

"It was an accident," Alex explained in a rush. "She hurt no one."

"What did she do?!" Howard yelled.

"Created ice," said Dorian.

Tessa started to cry. "Maker's Breath," she said. Alex went knelt before her, placing a hand on her knee.

"Mother, it will be alright," he explained. "Annabelle can be taught. She can be trained."

Dorian nodded. "She has remarkable skill for her age," he explained. "She will be quite proficient at it, a great master in time."

"You!" Howard shouted, pointing at Dorian. Everyone looked up. "Stop speaking! How dare you? How _dare_ you speak so lightly of this."

"Father," Alex warned. "Dorian only wants to  _help_ the situation."

"Bullshit!" Howard said, waving his arms madly. "We never have an issue with our perfectly  _normal_ little girl, and then this man,  _this man_ , appears and tells us she is a mage?!"

"Howard, this is not helping," Tessa said tearfully.

"I've nothing to gain by lying to you," Dorian defended.

"I'm not so sure about that!" Howard yelled.

Alexander stood up, coming between his father as he stepped closer to Dorian. Dorian never backed down. He didn't even blink. "Father enough," Alex said sternly. All his fear had flitted away, replaced by annoyance and pent up anger. "Dorian has nothing to do with this. He's here to answer questions you might have, but he's not--"

Howard gestured to Dorian around his son's shoulder. "How can you bring this man into our home?" he snapped. "You poison this household, this  _family_ , with the likes of him."

"Howard!" Tessa scolded.

Alex glared. "You don't mean that," he said to his father.

"This degenerate!" Howard went on, "is the reason your sister, your younger sister, has been tainted! He cannot have our interests in mind, Vints never care about Southerners! Whatever he did to you back at that fortress of yours makes him sick! It makes him a manipulative--"

"Father!" Alex shouted.

Howard flung his arm at Dorian. "How can you trust anything this  _mage_  says to you?!"

"Because I love him!"

Howard's wide eyes went wider, but he dropped into silence.

Tessa had her hands over her mouth again as she sat in her chair, silent tears on her cheeks.

Dorian was breathless, his heart beating wildly, and from the corner of his eye he could see figures in the foyer. Unseen by the rest of the family, Layla stood with Annabelle on her hip, bringing the little girl down to say goodnight. Dorian cast them a quick glance before looking back at the tense scene before him. The pause was brief, over in a moment, and Alex was huffing.

"Because I love him, Father," Alex said again. The words left his mouth, and the last syllable was met with a swift hand across his cheek. The crack of his Father's back-handed slap echoed through the room, and Tessa gasped.

Another voice gasped in the distance, followed by footsteps up a flight of stairs. But Dorian could hardly worry about Layla and Annabelle now. 

He stepped in front of Alex, whose head was still snapped to the side. "How  _dare_ you!" Dorian shouted. "How dare you lay a hand on your son! Your son who has only ever wanted do do right by you! Who has only ever sought your approval!"

Howard looked angry as well as mortified. He looked shocked by himself, shocked by how close to his height Dorian was, and by how loud he was.

"You're so arrogant with your selfish disregard for others," Dorian spat, "and your closed mindedness, yet you scorn the one person who defends your self-righteous, domineering--!"

"Dorian." Alex put his hand on the man's shoulder, bringing his head up to show a red mark on his cheek. "Don't. Don't make it worse." 

Dorian tried to keep his anger at bay, for Alex's sake, but he shook with pent up rage that he'd actually hoped to let out. There was magic flooding his veins, but he knew that _would_ make things worse. Far worse.

Dorian stood aside, running a hand through his hair, as Alex stepped in front of him and faced his father. "Alex," Howard began numbly.

But Alex held his hand up. "We leave in the morning."

Tessa sobbed and Alex straightened his back. "I'm sorry Mother," he said to her, looking back at Howard stiffly. "But I can't stay here. We won't." He squared his shoulders. "Get Annabelle a tutor. Or you destroy her life. She needs support from her family, not fear."

Alex gritted his teeth, a damp shine to his eyes, and he turned and left the room with Dorian close on his heel. Tessa's crying could be heard the whole way up the stairs, and something heavy smashed against the wall.


	11. Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How could they stay now?  
> How could she stay?

Dorian slammed the door harder than he should have, letting it ring through the hall with very little care or patience. It was early enough in the night for no one to be truly disturbed by the noise, and there were doubtless worse things to hear in this household than slamming doors.

He spun around and marched towards Alex. Dorian took Alex by the shoulder and turned him around to face him. "Let me see," Dorian coaxed roughly. "Does it hurt? Let me look."

"It's fine," Alex said, but he presented his red face willingly. Sadly. The mark on his cheek was brighter than the flush of his skin that naturally occurred when he was embarrassed. Dorian wanted to tell him not to feel that way, to be angry instead of humiliated, but that's how Dorian worked. It wasn't how Alex worked. 

The red mark on Alex's cheek wasn't really the only thing on his face that bothered Dorian. The numb, distant, accepting stare in Alex's eyes worried Dorian more. He sighed after taking in Alex's face, and with a gentle hand he cupped the younger man's chin. The moment Dorian's skin touched Alex's, Alex gritted his teeth and looked away. His eyes were damp. "Was this..." Dorian paused. He was even just angry that he had to say it, that he had to ask! "Has he ever hit you before?"

"No," Alex said, and he met Dorian's eye to prove he wasn't lying. "He's never...He's  _never_..." Alex's blue eyes were wide and almost vacant as he stared just slightly past Dorian with shock in his face. He'd displayed some of it downstairs, but mostly he'd been angry and determined. Now, alone in his room with someone he trusted, Alex was just shocked. Shocked that his father would think he was lying to him, shocked that his mother would sob with the knowledge one of her children had magic, and shocked that his father--who used to cheer him on and hug everyone good night--would strike him.

Over the person he loved.

In  _front of_ the person he loved.

Alex gave a slow sigh. "I can't believe it. I can't..."

Dorian's shoulders were stiff. "Well we told them," he said. "It's done now."

Alex laughed lightly, bitterly. "We told them too much," he said. "I told them far too much."

"Well then it's over now," said Dorian, putting both hands on Alex's shoulders and wishing very much that he'd look at him. "They know everything we'd been pussy-footing around with. Isn't that better? It didn't go as well as we could have hoped it would, but it's done now. It's there for them to do whatever they want with. It's in their hands now."

"I'm never going to see them again." Alex looked up at last. His eyes were so wet, and Dorian knew that if any of that wetness hit his cheeks...he'd crush Alex to his chest. "They will never want to see me again. How could they?"

"You're not an abomination, Alex," Dorian said sharply, almost through his teeth. "You're their son. You will always be their son. They will want to see you." For a brief, flashing moment, Dorian recalled how his own father, even in his blind idiocy, still wanted to see his son. "They...They're just in shock," Dorian explained as Alex shook his head. But he dug his hands into Alex's shoulders tighter, ducking his head in an attempt to force Alex's eyes onto his. "They'll need time to adjust. And we can't blame them there."

Alex's lips were in a near pout, and his jaw shook just barely enough for Dorian to feel a mini-panic.

He dropped one hand. "I made it worse, I know," Dorian said. "I didn't mean to yell at him."

"No I'm glad you did," Alex said. His expression kept changing every time he looked at Dorian. Now, his eyes were wild, and the shock seemed to be turning from a strange vacant look to an outright confusion. "I...I would have let you go on I think. In another life. You were defending me."

"Of course I fucking was," Dorian spat. "Did you hear the things he said? The way he spoke!"

"About you!" Alex noted. "He said those things about you, not me! I should have been the one defending  _you_."

"We are absolutely not going to fight about who should have stood up for who," said Dorian. "Or...Or which one of us was more offended by your father's outrageous accusations. They were ridiculous, and demeaned us both. Forget it."

"I can't," Alex said after a momentary pause. "I worry I never will."

Dorian grabbed one of Alex's hands and he pulled the man close, putting his own ringed fingers at the back of Alex's hot neck. He liked the little bristle of hair he found there, just under the somewhat shaggy locks Alex would never let him cut.

"I want to leave," Alex mumbled into Dorian's shoulder, slowly letting himself put his arms around Dorian's waist. "I wanted to come home so I could feel normal again. Young again. But I didn't want to feel this way. I feel more defeated here than I ever have in battle."

"I know," Dorian sighed, his voice soft but his face stiff. He hoped one day Alex could forget this night, or maybe that Howard would come to his senses and apologize on his knees. But Dorian knew he would never, in a million years, forgive Alex's father for the mark on Alex's face. And on his heart.

So they packed quickly. It didn't take very much for Dorian to be ready to leave at a moments notice. He'd spent the trip being prepared to run off at any given chance, and he hadn't exactly spent much time in his guest quarters. Alex, the easily distracted man that he was, had a few more things to get tucked away. Dorian helped him, listening as Alex asked a servant very kindly to prepare a carriage for them tomorrow. First thing in the morning.

And Alex said it without any hint of distress. Which hurt Dorian all the more. He really did want to leave. He'd been so excited to come here, to bring Dorian to meet his family, and now he wanted nothing more than to get out.

That thought alone made Dorian unusually quiet as he put this and that back in Alex's trunks and bags.

When the candles began to burn down, and the fire was a perfectly warm blaze of flame and embers, they crawled carelessly into Alex's bed. They didn't lock the door.

***

When there was a knock on the door in the darkest part of the night, Alex sat bolt upright with a gasp fuelled by a restless sleep. Dorian's response was to lean slightly up on his elbow and reach a hand out to calm the man beside him, but the sound of another knock on the door cleared his blurry mind. They both just stared at the wood together for a moment before Dorian hit wakefulness with a sudden spurt of energy.

"Shh," he cooed to Alex, who was breathing hard and running a hand over his face. "It's alright," Dorian whispered. He clambered out of bed and threw a robe over himself.

"No don't," Alex said, getting up as well. He seemed unsteady, something Dorian wasn't pleased to see on his warrior. Alex grabbed for a robe when a knock came again, and Dorian sighed and pulled the door aside.

His eyes widened. That was not the face he expected, if he'd expected anyone at all.

"Mother," Alex breathed, coming to the door as Dorian stood in shocked silence. Tessa was in her nightdress, a thick and lacy item to keep back the cold, and a thick robe was haphazardly slung over her shoulders. She held a candle, and her bright hair was plaited almost to her waist. She looked so young, yet so tired at the same time.

And it was clear she was embarrassed, blushing in the same way her son always did. Dorian let go of the door and slunk slightly back into the shadows as Alex stepped forward. He reached for her and she let him take his hand. If she was feeling awkward, Alexander was feeling mortified. He looked at her nervously, and at last Tessa just sighed. "You needn't look like that," she told her son. "May I come in?"

"Of course," Alex said, moving aside so she could enter. The room was dim with the light from the fire and the one candle Tessa had brought with her, and Dorian fought the urge to light a few more quickly and easily.

Alex sat his mother down in a chair by the dull embers, pulling another forward and sitting down on the edge of it himself. He looked so afraid, but also so incredibly hopeful that Dorian's own heart felt the conflict too. Flashes of his own family disasters kept coming back to him as he watched Tessa smile tightly at her boy, watched Alex look so afraid. Had his own mother looked like that the day Dorian planned on leaving?

After a long silence, Tessa reached out and put her hand to Alex's cheek. "My boy," she sighed, making Alex close his eyes to her touch. "Oh my boy. You always will be, you know. That rowdy child, round faced, freckled, running around my skirts no matter what I said."

"I'm so sorry, mother," Alex breathed.

She tutted and shushed him, and Dorian put a hand on the back of Alex's chair with a soft smile. "The world does not always work the way we want it to," Tessa said. "I've spent the night ashamed of myself. I'd sworn long ago never to react that way if you came to speak to me."

Alex sighed with a tired, deflated face. "You knew," he realized. It was always something he'd known, just in the back of his mind, and he liked to pretend it was out in the open. Only Layla had ever heard Alex admit it, out loud, that he preferred men. But his mother...she'd always had a suspicion, and he'd known it all along.

Tessa smiled tightly again. "I had my suspicions. And never once did I truly worry over it. I want you to know, Alex, that I never loved you less. And I shan't now. But your father...I feared so much for him. For you. Never in my darkest dreams did I think he would respond that way, my love."

"It was poorly done," Alex said in his defence.

"Do not defend his actions," Tessa said stiffly before Dorian could. "You came to us with nothing but care and concern. And he lashed out at you like a beast. He has been so..." Tessa stopped, looked at Alex then at Dorian and back again. "But enough. Your father does not deserve words now. I came here for myself, not for him."

To Dorian and Alex's surprise, however, Tessa looked behind her son to where his lover stood cast in shadow as he was prone to do. "Dorian," Tessa said, his name sounding strange on her lips. It made him feel instantly like a little boy again. "The treatment you have endured here is unacceptable, and on behalf of my guests, my family, and any others under my roof, I apologize sincerely."

Dorian held a hand up. "You really don't--"

But Tessa matched his hand, and Dorian shut right up. "I will say what I came to say. Please." Her voice was strict, but gentle somehow, and Dorian's face softened. "You have been nothing but kind to everyone here," Tessa went on, "and for your troubles you have been met with whispers and distrust. And tonight, you were met with absolute disrespect that I cannot tolerate. And for that I am deeply sorry."

Dorian gulped, blinked. He had nothing to add. No quirky remark to make to diffuse the tension. He was simply awed.

Tessa gave her stiff smile. "You love my son," she said. It was a question and a statement all in one.

Dorian felt his heart skip a beat, and noticed Alex's head drop and turn just slightly.

Worrying his voice may crack, Dorian nodded. "I do."

Alex's head fell further, and his mother reached out and gripped his knee while looking Dorian right in the eye. "I have seen it," she said. "It's undeniable, and...I am grateful to know it."

Alex looked up sharply, and even without seeing his face, Dorian knew he looked absolutely broken. He heard Alex sigh pleasantly, and Dorian himself bowed his head to Tessa in thanks and respect. "You raised a fine man," he said slowly.

Tessa smiled perhaps her first real smile that night, looking back at her son and patting his cheek again. Dorian watched her fingers for any sign of wetness. He still wouldn't be able to handle Alex's tears, even if they were to happen now.

"A fine young man," Tessa said softly as Alex avoided her eyes. "I knew the day you were born that you were meant for greatness. You were born for it. Tristan...he trained for greatness, he readied himself for it and sought it out like the adventurer he was. But you. Alexander, you were born with gifts already honed for greatness, for leadership. Your strength, and your kind heart, make you such an extraordinary man. I am proud to call you my son."

Tessa was crying, and Dorian watched the lines of tears run down her cheeks as she stared, proud and determined, at her son. Dorian heard Alex sniffle, and it made his muscles tighten and his head snap away to look into the fire.

"I want you both to know this," she said, forcing Dorian's eyes back. "I am not ashamed. I am merely afraid for the two of you, and the way the world can be cruel. Just as people can."

"We have experience with that," Dorian said dryly.

"I imagine so," Tessa agreed. "You both must have hard skins for the lives you have led, and will lead. But...that hard skin doesn't come easily. Annabelle does not have that hard skin."

Dorian and Alex instantly forgot about their own worlds, their own issues and dilemmas. In that one sentence, everything became about someone else. Everything became about an innocent little girl, a sweet girl, who had been blessed to never truly know the hardships Alex and Dorian had experienced.

"When you leave tomorrow," Tessa went on, though her hands shook, "as I am sure you plan to, I want you to take her with you."

"What?" Alex said, his own voice a little rough around the edges. "Mother...she...We go back to a war zone. A military unit. That's no place for Annabelle."

"You have mages, do you not?" Tessa said. "Dozens if I'm not mistaken. She needs help, Alex. She needs to be trained."

"She can be trained here," Alex said. "With her family."

Tessa shook her head and took a steadying breath in. "If Annabelle stays here," she said slowly, "you know as well as I do that she will never see a day of proper training in her life. Now. I may not know much about magic, mages, or any of that. But I know that a mage, improperly trained, can result in disaster. Either for her, or for those around her. I would rather Annabelle be safe away from me, then worry for her safety by my side. Or, Maker forbid, find myself worrying for my own safety."

Alex frowned and shook his head. "Mother--"

"I will not fear my own child, Alex," Tessa said bluntly. Her words dropped into the room like a weight onto Dorian's chest. Alex put his head in his hands, and Tessa went on. "I've had a trunk packed for Annabelle. I've already spoken to her about it tonight, and brave child that she is, she's excited to go with you."

Alex laughed but it was sad and afraid.

"She's always been independent that way," Tessa said, tears filling her eyes once more. She couldn't bear to look at her son any longer, and with a shaky head she looked back up to Dorian. "I imagine she'll receive the best training you can offer."

Dorian's immediate instinct was to just blindly agree, to put the poor woman out of her worry and fear. But suddenly, the words were on his lips. "I'll see to her care personally."

"What?" Alex asked, sounding more shocked and appalled than Dorian liked. He turned to stare up at Dorian from his seat, brows furrowed, face contorted.

"I'll gladly train her," Dorian went on, shocked by himself just as much as Alex seemed to be. "Naturally, she'll have influences from many other places. But I'll see to it that no harm should ever come to her magically. And Alex will be sure no harm will come to her in any other respect. This I swear to you, Tessa. Annabelle will never know suffering."

Alex had his head in his hands again. "This cannot be happening," he grumbled. 

Dorian came around and sat on the arm of the chair, putting a hand on Alex's back and leaning down to his ear. "Would you not rather she be safe with us? You know what can happen to mages who aren't trained properly."

"Don't," Alex said, disgusted by the thought. He leaned away from Dorian for a moment, but slowly put his hand over Dorian's as it rested on his back. He looked at his mother as she wiped a tear from her cheek. "You would truly prefer this?"

"I would prefer many things, Alex," Tessa said sadly. "But I will protect my children. Whatever that means."


	12. Ariana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Dorian's opinion, he'd had just about enough of the Trevelyans, at least when it came to most of them. But the one sibling he hadn't spoken to enough, the one sibling he'd easily overlooked, had more to say to him.

They spoke about it for hours after Tessa went back to bed. It felt like the night would never end as Dorian and Alex sat there in sharp whispers talking everything over. Eventually, Alex fell into a fitful, aggravated sleep, his head coaxed down to the pillow by Dorian's persuasive powers. But Dorian sat on the edge of the bed with a dull fire and one lone candle casting an orange-yellow glow about the room. He stared into the shadows, running a hand through his hair every now and then, and breathing slow.

Annabelle, he thought. That poor girl. Dorian felt sympathy for any mage in the South, pulled away from their families and homes, looked at as plagues or walking time bombs. He'd never had to go through that, not in Tevinter where Circles were more respected, more of an honour instead of a punishment. Then again, they'd felt more like a punishment to him, bouncing back and forth between this one and that one until a tutor finally took him in.

Alexius. Maker, look how that had turned out.

But Dorian had offered his expertise to Annabelle, something he'd never imagined doing. Training another mage had always seemed like far too difficult of a task. Something Dorian never planned on doing, and something his parents would have forbidden. Circle teachers weren't exactly well regarded, even if the system was, and Dorian's father had plans for him already. Now, nothing was planned for Dorian. In fact his whole life, his whole world, was up for grabs.

And Annabelle's tiny hands seemed to reach out for it.

If Dorian had never expected himself to be keen on teaching, he had definitely never anticipated children. At all.

Not that Annabelle was his responsibility in any way. Tutoring her would be far different than having any kind of parent relationship. Even thinking that thought made him scrunch up his nose.

But she would rely on him in a way, and her brother of course. Alex could give Annabelle what most southern mages had never been given; family. Care. Love and protection. What he couldn't give her was proper training, but his lover could. Annabelle was barely six years old, she still needed a good amount of care, she needed "parent" figures. Not just her brother and her teacher who happened to share a bed.

How odd was that really? Dorian tried to mull it over in his head in various ways but it always came back to parenting. Dorian was fairly confident he could teach. But he was very unsure about whether he could parent. It actually made him feel oddly queasy.

Alex would be great at it, of course he would be. He was the epitome of affection. Dorian had struggled with that for years, only really breaking free of the heavy wall he'd built around himself when Alex waltzed along and stole Dorian's icy heart. Could they be a team then?

Maker, how ridiculous that sounded! Annabelle _had_ parents, and that was that. She'd be a new addition to the team. There. That worked.

Dorian sighed. No. No it didn't. She was a child, now entrusted to both Alex and himself, and they would have to look after her in every way.

Dorian sighed into the night, turning around and glancing down at the sleeping mass of warrior. Alexander's red hair was a mess against the pillow, his strong brow furrowed in his restless sleep, and Dorian grinned. It was slow, soft, and when he turned back around he gave another sigh and stood up.

It was suddenly all to clear to Dorian why he'd offered to tutor Annabelle. She reminded him of someone he held very, very dear.

Dressing slowly and messily, Dorian opened the bedroom door and pattered into the dark hall. The morning was perhaps just threatening the night, and the estate was quiet in the bitter ends of a tense evening. Far too awake to even attempt laying down with Alex, Dorian decided to say goodbye to the library. It might just be the only thing he'd miss from this ghastly place.

He remembered where it was easily, pushing aside the large doors to the dimly lit interior. The sun didn't shine in the morning here, so everything was a soft milky blue of dawn instead of a warm and burning orange, and Dorian inhaled the scent of paper and ink with an instant calming sensation. He had so little time to be alone nowadays, and he could admit he often disliked it now, but this kind of isolation? He'd take it.

He was never really alone with books anyway.

Dorian perused the shelves as he walked closer to the grand window that looked out over the snow. Hands dug in the pockets of his trousers, Dorian looked out through the early morning and felt ready to leave. If he was being honest, he'd been ready to leave after the first awkward dinner. He'd forgotten how aggravating it was to handle family debates and politics, though it was a little bit fun.

Howard's face when Dorian finally got to yell...He could have gone on.

Turning absently to his left, Dorian spied a small set of stairs leading to a lifted little office space. A desk, a few tables, and yet more shelves stood around a grand fireplace that had an even grander portrait above. Alex hadn't led Dorian over there before, and as he leaned to peer around a shelf he noticed he was not alone.

Standing in front of the fire, long braid trailing down her back, Ariana stood with a shawl over her shoulders and her head tilted up. As Dorian followed her gaze to the portrait, he squinted to try and make it out. The slight darkness played with his eyes, and he could only really see a soft smirk.

His curiosity got the better of him. "Ariana?" Dorian called out gently, his voice echoing around the grand space. He took a few steps towards the stairs, and when she turned he could clearly see her face even in the dimness. She'd been crying.

He stopped. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to disturb you."

Ariana wiped her face and he watched her turn to stone. "It's quite alright," she said. "In fact, I feel I am probably the only person you _haven't_ disturbed whilst here."

Dorian raised a brow and nearly smirked. Finally, her blunt eyes made him crack a soft chuckle. "I see now," he said, mounting the steps as she adjusted her shawl. "All the Trevelyans have a secret wit."

"Some of us wouldn't call it secret," she said in a monotone, turning back to the fireplace as he slowly approached. He was treating her like a doe that might spook if he moved too fast, but Ariana was coming across as a bit more solid than he'd anticipated.

Dorian realized they hadn't really spoken, at all, for the whole trip. She'd seemed shy, or perhaps just annoyed by the majority of events going on at the estate. But she'd spent time with her son, fawning over him, even smiling at him, and that somehow put her in Dorian's good graces. Until she proved otherwise, at least.

"So I see word travels fast in this family, too," Dorian noted as he came to stand beside her. She was taller than Layla, but he still looked down at her regal profile as she held her teary face high.

"In this family, like wildfire," she said, not meeting his gaze. When she did look up at him, it almost made him feel uncomfortable. She had iron in her eyes, and a face far too old in its airs than her age should allow. "You needn't worry over my opinion of you," Ariana told him. "Or my brother. We knew for years," she said softly, looking up at the portrait above.

Dorian followed her eyes and saw the glory of the painting in the growing light. In an instant, he knew exactly who it was. The famous, or infamous, Tristan Trevelyan. He sat, decked out in a combination of cloth and armour, with a shield at his leg and a sword in his hand. Head held high, he looked through the painting with confidence and elegance. He looked kind, but perhaps sharp and blunt at times, and his eyes were a faded hazel that leaned, surprisingly, towards green. The only green eyes Dorian had seen in this family. 

And Tristan smirked a smirk so bold, so easy, so alive, that he could never really die.

"Tristan was handsome," Dorian noted as casually as he could. 

"He looked too much like Father," Ariana said bluntly. "And he was bolder than he was modest. But he was my brother." She took in a slow, deep breath, then let it out like a sigh. "Layla and Alex were always so close," Ariana said quietly, staring back down to the fireplace, "but I had Tristan."

"You two were very close, were you?" Dorian asked her.

She gave a nod. "I followed him everywhere when I was little, but then he followed me when we grew older." Dorian saw a small hint of a smile on her thin lips as she drifted into memory. "It's strange, as children we were all so oddly matched. It should have been Tristan and Layla, and Alexander and I. With the way we were. But Layla and Alex shared incredible selflessness, and Tristan and I...we were determined, stubborn, and so focused on our own paths.

"I told him not to be a Templar," she said. "When he grew more and more keen on the idea, I told him not to. I said that wasn't in his future, it wasn't his path, but he said it was his only path. When Father found a marriage for me, Tristan did the same thing I'd done to him, and told me not to. But I grew easily infatuated with a man I barely knew, and I told him it was my path. How wrong we both were. We should have listened to each other, but we were too stubborn. Tristan's templar path led to his death, and mine led to beatings and a son that nearly ruined me."

Dorian flinched. She spoke so easily about matters he'd expect to be secrets, and to a complete stranger. They were connected distantly through a relationship people now gossiped over, and she was spilling all her stoic secrets to him. "I wasn't aware you had such hardships," he noted, struggling to keep a joke from being his next phrase. He was used to using humour to diffuse, but Ariana wasn't a chuckler he thought. "I'm sorry neither of you got your happily ever after."

She shrugged again, still looking distantly into the fire. "I love my son," she said. "Very much. But I see my husband's face there sometimes and I do worry. But all Dillon has is me, so I hold to my faith. And Tristan...Knowing him as I did, he would do it all over again. He would never regret giving his life to another. That's how he saw the Conclave. Coming together for the rights and lives of people who couldn't speak for themselves."

"He was for the freedom of mages?" Dorian asked, shocked anyone but Alex and Layla could support mages in this family.

"He was for the freedom of everyone," Ariana told him. "Slaves, mages, all of it. He believed the Maker and Andraste would have wanted that kind of peace and equality, that kind of fairness. He would have argued right along with you that first night at dinner," she smirked vaguely. Then her face turned hard once more. "He would never have stood for Father hitting Alex. Nor would he have stood for the treatment of you. Or Annabelle."

Dorian looked away from her for the first time in a long while. "So you know everything then," he realized.

"Everyone does at this point," Ariana said. "Even the servants are mumbling."

"You know, then, that we're taking Annabelle when we leave today," Dorian said, eyeing her from the side.

He was still surprised that she nodded. "I think that's best now," Ariana said sadly. "Leaving her here, now that everyone knows...that's not fair to her. Even if my father panics about a mage in the family. But," she added a little wryly, "I suppose we have you too."

Dorian graced her with his wicked, slow grin, and she turned with pursed lips to stare at him a moment. Eventually, Ariana smiled too.

"Give them both a good life, will you?" she asked him, turning around and slowly walking to the stairs. "They both deserve it."

Dorian didn't have to ask who she meant. "I plan to," he said confidently, and as he watched her walk away, his head full of a voice he'd heard maybe twice since arriving here, Dorian realized he could do exactly that. He could give them both a good life, and he could fill whatever role he needed to fill.

For Alex. For Annabelle. And for Tristan, wherever he may be.


End file.
